No Lullabies for Ryders
by Zing-baby
Summary: After defeating the Archon and settling Meridian, Sara and Liam Kosta discover their future is arriving a lot sooner than planned. With so much work left to do in Heleus, can they pull their lives together before two becomes three? And what does an impending infant mean for the family and crew of the Tempest? (Rated M for mature themes in potential future chapters.)
1. Conception

**Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect or any of its affiliated characters or property.**

* * *

 **No Lullabies for Ryders**

 **Ch. 1 - Conception**

Sara wrung her hands as she paced along the Hyperion deck, chestnut brows knit as tight as her nerves.

"Yeah, that's the look of a woman excited to see her new husband," her brother harassed, a familiar boyish simper in place.

"It's been months, we're not really newlyweds anymore."

"Ah, so, this is typical anxiety for your _mature_ relationship?" Scott Ryder folded his arms, and leaned back on the rail. Only his eyes followed as her feet threatened to wear a trail in the floor.

Sara knew he enjoyed mocking her, but the way he said 'mature', laden with sarcasm, bore the weight of experience with Liam now. Since the twins' reunion, Scott had taken it upon himself to serve in place of their parents in 'checking him out'. Which might have been logical if Scott and Liam weren't both slightly-reckless adrenaline junkies who both desperately needed a brother. They got along just like little boys, leaving Sara the perplexed mother trying to control her urge to tame them.

Until she and Liam were alone anyway.

With his bait left hanging with zero acknowledgment, Scott's face twisted disapprovingly. "What is up with you, Sis? Are you on your per-"

"-Don't even say it!" She lifted her hand sharply, eyes glowing with irritation. "You've been using that same excuse for my attitude since we were kids, and it's almost never the reason. Sometimes, I am entitled to a little concern!"

"Okay, jeez!" Scott's shoulders perked defensively. But when she continued her pace, he mumbled an "... _almost_ never" under his breath.

Sara heard, but again found herself too lost in thought to respond as sharply as she might have on a different day. The fact was, it wasn't her period that made her so anxious she wanted to climb the walls. It was a lack of one.

"SAM, how much longer until the transport arrives?"

 _"Mr. Kosta's vessel has entered Meridian space. He should be arriving in under ten minutes. Might I propose heading to the docking bay?"_

"Thanks, SAM."

Sara brushed past her brother, SAM's mere suggestion more than enough reason to forgo any façade of patience. Scott followed, nearly jogging to keep up.

"Miss him that much, huh?" He called after her, long legs stretching to compensate.

"Yeah," she replied shortly. "I did."

Faces and uniforms blurred by as she made her way to the tram, her twin hot on her heels. Three months had been a long time to be without Liam, it was true. They'd experienced almost every day of Andromeda together. But a Pathfinder team was needed on Voeld for the thirty-second time, and Sara had been needed here. But the last month had definitely been the hardest.

Sara found herself on the docks before she remembered reaching the Tramway, auto-pilot driving her forward. She found a railing near the airlocks and squeezed as she rocked on her feet. She urged herself to calm, if not for Liam, for Scott, who hadn't stopped staring at her. She knew she couldn't hide her emotions from him anyway- he sensed them- but she certainly wasn't ready to talk about it. That would have to do for now.

It seemed to. He waited, silently at her side as they watched an Angaran fighter ship descend onto a round pad and the crew begin to disembark. She joined the small handful of people waiting, including a few Angara. She feared the search for his face in the group; she'd always hated it growing up. Searching, wondering, afraid with each wrong face the odds of the next one being the right one were going down, not up.

She should have known better.

Sara's lips into an uncontrollable smile as Liam dodged to the side of the exiting crew so he could run to the front and seek her. _His_ warm brown face and eyes met her first, and she immediately felt a hundred times better. He dashed to her quickly and she found herself lifted off the floor and hugged into his arms as ecstatic kisses peppered her face.

"Gods, I missed you!"

 _Ugh, his accent_. Thick and warm like honey, it was like coming home.

"I missed you, too!" She laughed and clung to him until he touched her toes back to the linoleum. She buried fingers in his unruly hair and pulled him in for a kiss before she stepped away.

"Aye, Liam, you've got a Pathfinder on your face!" Scott stalked up, hand already extended.

Liam beamed and grabbed the man's forearm, tugging him into a playful embrace with a couple claps on the back. "You should have been with me, brother. Plenty of action to be had."

"Another time. I doubt we'll run out of things to blow up together out here," Scott joked.

Sara rolled her eyes, but all in good fun. She loved their relationship, found herself even jealous of it sometimes. But Scott and Liam both needed it, and they were her family. Them being close could only mean good things.

Her husband's arm found its way around her shoulders and he began to steer them back off the docks, looking as relaxed and refreshed as ever.

 _Must not have been too dangerous then_ , Sara thought to herself.

Having him back eased her nerves by volumes. She still needed to tell him, but now that he'd returned, she could be a little more patient and just enjoy it.

Scott was happy to invite Liam to dominate the conversation, plying him with questions one after another about business. Sara listened idly for quite some time as the trio made their way to the restaurant market to get Liam some comfort food. She declined a cocktail in place of water and claimed she felt dehydrated when Scott quirked a brow. Liam didn't notice, his palm absently squeezing her thigh at the bar as he regaled the tale of the ancient city currently being uncovered in the deep Voeld ice- and how the Kett had increased their assaults since the project's groundbreaking. Sara, of course, cared enough to note that the situation seemed well in hand, thanks to some reinforcements from Kadara. Liam's team just needed to facilitate protection until it could be arranged.

After an hour or so of chatter, Scott excused himself, supplying some reason that honestly could have waited. Sara knew he was just being tactful for her. She'd have to remember to thank him later. She hugged him before he left, then returned to Liam's side, her hands finding his shoulder and chest.

"Well? Feel like going home?"

The warmth in Liam's smile nearly melted her, and he caught one of her hands to bring it to his mouth for a kiss. "A shower sounds lovely."

'Home' was still a loose term. They now shared an apartment on the Hyperion after its permanent descent to Meridian. But it was with the mutual understanding that eventually they'd need to decide where they wanted to settle permanently. They had ideas, but there were always reasons to consider elsewhere.

They walked hand in hand to their quarters, Sara eager to see him out of his gear, if only to let it sink in he was off-duty, and hers.

They fell into a comfortable silence until they reached their destination, and once inside, Sara fetched him a towel and proffered it to him with a kind smile.

"You're not joining me?" The half-smirk to his lips, so natural and hopeful, caused the flame of her focus to waiver for a moment, but her well-leashed stress prevailed.

"Mm, I'll be waiting out here for loves when you're done." She leaned in to kiss him, and reveled in how happy and constantly relieved he seemed with her. She loved that she could give that to him.

The steady rhythm of the shower spout eased her spine as she dressed down to a tank over her pants and curled onto one end of their couch. It was pleasant, knowing another was in the home. It had been much too quiet lately. She'd missed the sound of Liam's endless movies and video games, and had pilfered his music collection for company while he'd been away.

For a moment she wondered if her mother had ever done anything similar while Alec had served. But a hand absently rubbed her abdomen in anxiety at the notion. She hadn't wanted that for herself, she'd known it at a young age. This Voeld trip had been intended to be an isolated event, but now... she couldn't afford for it to be anything else. She could never be as strong her mother, raising children, or even one child, completely alone while wondering if it were truly temporary. She'd wished so badly she could talk to Ellen now. She'd even spent some time in Cryo Bay, trying to (in her head, lest someone overhear).

She'd never pictured her life with Liam that way. But, she'd never pictured herself a Pathfinder either. Or one of the most famous humans in Andromeda's young history.

Or, pregnant. At least not in any sense that wasn't in the far-off future.

"Love?"

Sara blinked away her startled reaction, her hand flying from her stomach before she had time to mitigate how suspicious it looked. Liam stood at the end of the sofa, freshly showered and shaved, skin and hair still damp, and a relaxed, simple grey sweater laying over his muscles. She allowed herself an unabashed gaze at his body for a moment before her eyes lifted to his.

"You've been quiet, you alright?"

She nodded and offered a soft smile. "I just missed you." She shifted to stretch for his hand, guiding him to sit with her so she could then cuddle into his side. But he easily dragged her the extra few inches into his lap, hugging her to him.

"It was weird, being out there without you."

"It was weird being here without you," she retorted against his jaw between soft kisses.

"Everything work out? With the Moshae and the others?" His calloused hands ran along her legs as they talked, keeping her content to stay tucked against him.

"I think so. Being a Pathfinder is a really popular idea right now. Trying to profile and train people who would make good ones will be a long screening process. I wish more of the original Pathfinders had made it. Maybe they'd have more insight into the project."

"I'd say we did pretty damn good with our rookies," he comforted, the childlike optimism still in his tone. She so badly didn't want to burden it. "At least you and Scott got some time together."

"Yeah, and Vetra came by a couple times. Kesh has her setting up some deals with Kadara."

"Good."

She felt his warm lips at her hairline, the both of them falling deeper and deeper into the calm intimacy they enjoyed so often. When it felt like just them in the galaxy, almost as if Heleus were crafted just for them two.

"Was Voeld really alright?"

"If it were messy I would have called you in. It was nothing we couldn't handle."

Fingers lovingly stroked her hair. She buried her face in his neck to delay the inevitable, but with each kind touch, she knew he let his guard down further. If she told him quickly it could be part of their 'debrief'. If she waited any longer, it would feel like she were hiding it. Like shame.

"Liam," she breathed. She had the sentence, she'd really had. But the words caught in her throat and she cleared it with a wince.

His hand in her hair slipped down her neck and angled her face up to see his eyes. Patience and concern both pooled behind chocolate depths, a perfect expression for a husband and father. She just hadn't seen it that way before.

"I... do you remember, after we found this place, and after we defeated the Archon, the conversation we had? About the future?"

"You mean the one that got us married?" He smirked and gently nuzzled her lips with his between her questions.

"Mm, no, the one about having a family."

He blinked, his smile still in place, if shifting in curiosity at her topic. "...Yes?"

"You really want to be a father, then? I mean, that's important to you?"

 _Uh, oh_. She'd worried him. Perhaps that wasn't the right way to phrase it.

"I..." he carefully articulated. "I told you, yes. I want a future with you, Sara. I wouldn't have married you if I didn't."

"We could've had a future without kids."

The past-tense was lost on him in his east banter, as he continued easily with his reply. "And pass up the chance to find out what a Ryder-Kosta hybrid is like? When we have all this space to let them loose in?"

His attitude was infectious, and she found herself smiling, even as the pressure of telling him crept closer.

"Liam," she finally said, drawing his attention back to her. "I wanted to surprise you when you got back, but... before you left I went to see Jill... To see about getting off the hormone blockers."

Liam did, in fact, blink in surprise. He'd gotten off his own blockers once the pair had become truly serious, as he wasn't planning to be with anyone else and she'd stayed on them. "You, you think we're ready?"

 _Dear lord I hope so,_ Sara thought. "Well, I wanted to talk to you about it. There's good reasons to start soon, and to wait. I thought I'd switch to a more temporary contraceptive in the meanwhile..."

Her voice drifted with the thought. It was true, Jill had begrudgingly also provided other forms of protection for until they were ready, but they'd never gotten a chance to use them. She'd expected at least a month's delay until the hormone blockers were out of her body. Perhaps she didn't account for the physiology of an AI-integrated Pathfinder. However small a window, it clearly proved enough.

To her relief, Liam seemed pleased enough with idea, his brows raised in measured excitement as he recited his list of things he wanted prepared before the time came, including their long-term housing.

Before he could really rev himself up though, Sara cleared her throat again. "It's not just that, it's... Liam, I... we're pregnant."

She blurted the last two words out like they were a magic spell that swept their reality away into a hazy daydream of ever-changing uncertainty. They pulsed through the air of their small apartment, shrinking it further in the shadows of the space they'd soon need.

Liam sat breathless, and for a whole three seconds, like his brain had lagged. Then, all at once, his cheeks split into a disbelieving grin. "We're.. we're going to have a baby?!"

With a great wash of weight cascading off her at his smile, she nodded vigorously, clutching the front of his sweater. "SAM confirmed three weeks ago."

"SAM?" Liam raised his voice to the room, his arm cradling Sara's head to his chest possessively as his full reaction awaited, loaded into the chamber.

 _"Hormone levels and biological cycles confirm, Mr. Kosta. Congratulations."_

Suddenly Sara felt herself hoisted from off the couch and into a swirling body by crushing arms. "This is incredible! How did this happen?!"

The Pathfinder resisted the inclination to start a facetious 'birds and bees' speech. "I guess your little swimmers were ready with drill bits and pickaxes when the blockers came off! It must have happened just before you left-!"

She was cut off by a forceful, truly joyous kiss, and a flurry of new emotions rushed over her into the vacuum her fear had left. She hadn't recalled ever being kissed so deeply and desperately out of delighted jubilance instead of lust.

"This is amazing!" He beamed, finally setting her down.

"I was so worried!" she confessed. "We don't have a home yet, there's no space here-"

"We have plenty of time to move."

"I'm a Pathfinder, I have obligations and responsibilities-"

"That you're already training others for. Plus we've got another Ryder now."

"And I don't want to either of us to be the type of parents our kids have to miss all the time."

"I think we've earned some leeway to design our own lives."

She huffed as he so quickly dismissed what she considered nigh-insurmountable obstacles. "You just have the answer to everything, don't you?"

"Crisis Response Specialist, 'member?"

She stood for a moment, hands on her hips, as he so neatly organized their immediate concerns into bite-sized digestible pieces.

"You're amazing, you know that?"

"No you are." His face came achingly close to hers, a hand on either side of her cheeks as he kept her held close to him. "You're carrying our baby, Sara. You're going to be the mother of my child."

The daydream and reality collided violently at his words, sending her brain into lightheaded dizziness, but it settled in a single sobering and powerful calling that commanded her at a deeper level than Pathfinder.

"Oh my god," she breathed. "I'm going to be a mom."

Liam chuckled warmly, snaking arms around her to pull her close again. "There you go, _Mum_."

They quickly melted into kisses after that, though too excited by the sharing of the news for it not to escalate. Sara knew on some level that she still wasn't sure what the future looked like, at least not in the next year, but Liam had a way of filling her with confidence that it would be more than alright.

Perhaps helplessly, they fell into naked celebration for the next hour or so, and though Sara would have contently sentenced him to an evening in bed with her and his favorite musicals, her other half had other plans.

"Who else knows?" He asked later, hugging her to his bare form under the single sheet they'd pulled over themselves.

"Just you and SAM."

"You haven't told your brother yet?" Liam kissed her shoulder, her neck, his hands still tracing her to chase away her sleepiness.

"I thought about it, but it didn't seem right. You deserved to know first."

Her husband "mm"ed and trailed a fingertip over one of her scars. "You know who'll really flip?"

"-Suvi."

"-PeeBee."

They answered at the same time and laughed.

"We should have Lexi or Carlisle check you out," Liam added. "Not that I don't trust SAM. Just for the records."

"Harry..." Sara considered a moment. Harry had been close to her parents. Perhaps a little too close. He reminded her of them. And his approval and pride still meant a lot to her. What would he think? "Harry might be a little too close for clarity."

"Oh, and Lexi isn't going to over-fuss like a grandmum?" Liam batted back.

Sara groaned, but she was much too happy to be grumpy. Liam's adoring kisses on her skin kept her good mood secure.

"We should just tell 'em all at once, get it over with."

"You're going to get swarmed," he purred, amused as he tugged her tight into his chest and groin.

"If the baby can take it, so can I."

She only felt his grin as it spread along her temple.

* * *

 **Hey all! So I told you that it seemed a crime against nature to not touch on any ME: Andromeda. This just started pouring out, and I see a potential future in this (what was supposed to be a one-shot). I think there's more to this story, maybe? Is Liam really taking it all in stride or is he just showing strength and excitement for her benefit? Has it really hit either one of them yet? And what does it mean for their roles in the new galaxy- and the roles of the half-dozen new uncles and aunts to be made!?**

 **But its continuation may depend on interest, so please, if you'd like to see more, drop a quick review so I know if it's worth my time!**

 **(Also, just because the lemon stuff didn't go into any detail here, doesn't necessarily mean I won't in the future. In this instance, however, it didn't feel like the focus.)**


	2. The First Co-Conspirator

**No Lullabies for Ryders**

 **Ch. 2 - The First Co-Conspirator**

Sara hoped Liam would be ready for a rest given his recent work, but his delight over being home, along with its accompanying news, had him tossing the blanket off before their embrace could lull her to sleep. He bound out of the bed and began pulling his briefs and trousers back on, and Sara lay to watch the muscles roll up his back as he tugged the waistband into place.

"So," he started, bouncing on his toes. "Shall we call the gang and celebrate?"

Sara's eyes flitted to the ceiling, her mother's calm realism bubbling beneath. "I don't know, it's early yet. We don't know if..."

Miscarriages were still a law of nature. Even just a hundred years ago they were as common as one in nine. With so many in the Initiative starting their families now, they were about to get a pretty decent indication if that ratio held in Andromeda.

Liam hissed a little, though he, too, seemed reluctant to touch on that possibility. "That'll be hard. I'm not good with big news." Yeah, she knew. "How long, you think?"

"A couple more weeks? A month, maybe?" Sara rest a hand over her flat stomach thoughtfully as she watched Liam stalk around the couch as they talked, gathering their clothes into a loose pile on the end of the bed. "Doesn't mean we can't start preparing."

Their single room apartment didn't exactly stress their budget, but they'd opted to save instead of splurging on their first place; especially given the likelihood of rarely being "home". She'd even relinquished her rights to Alec's quarters to her brother. Scott still needed some time and space to adjust, after all.

But now, Sara found herself counting the few brief steps it took Liam to get from the bed to the little sitting area. Their tiled kitchenette took just a corner patch on the other side of the room, and a minimal washroom served as the only walled-off portion of the place. They'd have to give up the couch just to have space enough for a bassinette near their bed.

"This apartment is going to be full of stuff before the baby even arrives," she finally said, closing her eyes. "Scott will have to take over for awhile, if he feels up to it. Tann will probably have a field day- he'll use a pregnant Pathfinder as a milestone to our success...

"Shit," she continued after a moment. "I'm supposed to be chairing the adjudications for the new Pathfinder prospects! And we've got that project with Aya-"

"Okay, stop-" Liam interrupted her. He strode to her side and ripping the cover off her form, causing her to immediately curl up at the cool air. "Nope! If we stay here all night you're just gonna get in your head!"

Sara sat up with a pout, her ponytail flopping, askew. Liam tossed her shirt at her face with a soft whump. "Dress. _You and I_ are going out."

"Liam-" she yanked the tanktop to her lap, face still twisted in weakening defiance.

"You're losing this one, Ms. Kosta." His sweater soon fell back over his well-formed torso, taking the promise of warmth, and a night in, with it. "Besides, I've just figured out who we're telling first."

* * *

Since the event that finally secured them victory (though colonization would always be a constant struggle), society more or less had leveled into optimistic jubilation. Though those of Meridian and beyond were still challenged daily, for months now, boisterous drinking parties swelled well into the night. Sara and Liam garnered little attention in the crowds as they walked, shoulder to shoulder, through the halls to the tramway. On the Hyperion, at least, people were familiar enough with their presence to let them go more or less undisturbed. Not that Sara usually minded, but she was obviously preoccupied this evening.

She let Liam take the lead, a boyish glee always lifting his steps when he thought he was surprising her. But she wasn't too terribly surprised when the tramcar stopped at the cryo bay. _Moved_ , yes, but not surprised.

"Liam." She clumsily pawed his hand and he laced their weapon-worn hands together and lead her down the steps into the lab.

Harry was, of course, working. Thankfully, their visits weren't altogether unprecedented.

"Come to check on your buddy?" The doctor asked from his position near a huddled civilian.

"Oh yeah, career advice this time!" Liam tossed easily, tugging Sara along.

They didn't stop to talk, and once they rounded the corner to pod storage, she muttered under her breath. "You think he still buys that we're here to visit with one of your old chums?"

"Harry's got more important things to worry about. If he doesn't believe it, he hasn't pressed."

Sara shivered subconsciously just looking at the rows of pods still waiting to "arrive" in the new galaxy. She'd once thought it would only take a few years to wake everyone. Now, disease and turmoil had many sleeping away the present for a chance at a better future. It could be decades still until the Initiative could really support everyone. Would she live to see everyone awake? ...Would their child?

Liam wordlessly adjusted the settings until a case with the right -and wrong- name came to rest before them. He knew how to find it just as quickly as she now, and she smiled softly to herself.

"I'll... keep tabs." Liam wandered a few feet down, still within earshot, but enough to clear his throat before anyone could get close enough to hear her confess her darkest hopes and fears to a false moniker.

Oh, how it ached to know her mother lay mere inches away, behind a case of steel and polymer.

"Hey, mom," she breathed, daring to press a hand to the cover. "I..."

Sara reminded herself how much harder it would be if she couldn't tell her mother at all, if she had no hope of them meeting. But it seemed little comfort, sharing her first pregnancy with a mislabeled pod. She swallowed and tried again.

"For awhile, after I found out you were here, I... feared having to explain our circumstances to you. You were ready to go, but Dad... I know when you wake it'll be confusing. And to have to tell you that we took you from home, and about Dad's death, about... the danger Scott and I have placed ourselves in...

"I was scared of what I'd have to tell you when we make you better. That you would see how much we struggle sometimes. That Dad somehow stole your chance to pass at home, surrounded by family, filled with only encouraging thoughts of the future.

"But... things are changing. The colonies are becoming sustainable, the people are... excited..." Sara traced a pattern with her thumb, willing her emotion to steel. "Things are getting better. It's worth seeing. And... now I wish you were here so I could share it with you. So you could see Scott and I find our place. So you could meet Liam... So I could tell you you're going to be grandmother."

Sara loathed the tiniest crack in her voice. "Now I'm afraid of you finding out you missed the pregnancy... or the first few years."

Sorrow pooled in her stomach, sending Sara to lean on her mother's case to catch herself. "I really wish I could talk to you about this. So you could help me... feel ready. Now asking myself what you would do is all _I_ can do."

Liam coughed a few moments before a technician darted past them to run some kind of diagnostic. Sara went quiet, subtly stepping away from the pod as if she'd only just stumbled, adjusting her clothing.

People came to visit all the time, so she wasn't scrutinized too much as she remained, her arms crossed silently, until the tech left again.

Still, Sara knew she needed to wrap it up. She hugged herself a little tighter, and peered at the thick door between her and her mother.

 _What would she do?_

Get herself and the baby care. She couldn't allow her fear of the risks keep her from giving the baby its best chance. It wasn't about her comfort anymore.

Sara nearly laughed at how easily her mother's perspective shifted her own. It proved easier than she expected, imagining what her mother would say; organized, firm, if loving. She suddenly felt childish, and she pat the name plate of the hatch appreciatively.

"Heh, alright, mom."

She finally retreated, and pressed a few buttons on the nearby console to return the pod to the queue. She stayed and watched her mother drift out of reach, and her husband gravitated to her side to seek her hand once more.

"Have a nice talk?"

"Yeah."

Finally the Pathfinder tore her gaze from the rows and found welcome in a kind and affection smile that awaited her.

"Come on," Liam said, his brilliant grin churning her own. "Let's get that little bun a late night snack."

She snickered and he tucked her back into his side where she belonged as they made their way back to the station core.

* * *

After a simple, but pleasant late supper going over the details of their time apart, a full tummy and long day had Sara eager for the comfort of their bed. Liam didn't even bother slowing her, even going so far as to help her undress until she collapsed onto the mattress.

She mewled lazily until he crawled in after her, and she tossed about until she landed in proper place invading his personal space. He combed a hand over her hair with a chuckle, and the two found the most fitful rest of their last three months rather quickly.

To be honest, Sara hadn't thought far beyond Liam's return. When SAM woke her the next morning, she found herself a little disoriented and asking what day it was.

 _"The first batch of prospects are undergoing testing this morning, Ryder. Your attendance is required."_

Sara wasn't at all concerned that most still used her father's name. 'Pathfinder Ryder' wasn't just her name anymore. It would go down history, whether she'd set out for it or not.

"Oh, shit!" Sara flailed to her feet, sending bedside trinkets flying. A plastic cup bounced off the wall and an Omnitool kit scattered noisily, stirring Liam with a groan. "Shit, shit, shit, shit."

 _"You have a few minutes, Sara."_ SAM announced as she scrambled to the short locker in which she stored her clothing.

"Not if I want coffee!" She literally hopped into pants, yanking them up over her hips before flopping back on the edge of the bed for socks.

 _"Medical files indicate caffeine can have unforeseen negative effects on a developing embryo."_

"SHIT!" Sara ground through her teeth as she pulled a boot on. She paused to heave the bulk of her bedside mess back atop its perch, then forcefully shoved her other boot into place. She remembered hearing something about that once. She didn't think she'd need that information so soon.

"I need energy, SAM!" She rubbed at her eyes stubbornly, then stood to hunt for a top.

 _"I can prepare a temporary adrenaline boost, but it is not recommended for repeated use. It could have long term affects."_

"Can't you just lower the melatonin?"

 _"You're pregnant, Sara. Your fatique is no longer due to one mechanism alone."_

"Where you off to?" Liam's groggy words were laden thick with accent and it made her weak to the idea of crawling back in with him. She shook herself and instead drew close to him to kiss his forehead.

"Gotta get down to the sim-dome. First run of tests today."

"Mm, sounds fun. Want company?"

A sweet offer, but he still looked sleepy. _And oh so sexy_ , she confessed to herself. Still, she brushed her lips over his before she answered. "Mm, not yet, I'm running late and we're still gonna have kinks in the system. Stop by this afternoon?"

His dreamy grin came with a heavy-lidded gaze. "You got it."

 _"Sara-"_

"Yeah, I'm going."

Liam swatted at her ass as she rose to leave before he slumped back in bed. Sara nabbed her father's leather jacket and threw it over her shoulders on the way out, threading her arms through.

* * *

The new Simulation Dome sat, gleaming, in a field not far from the Hyperion. By now, the foot traffic wore a balding trail from the surrounding housing ships and buildings. It was still a small hike, to carry the weapons fire and training arena a safe distance from the rest of the population.

Thanks to the Ryders' influence with the Remant, and the integration of the new Angaran technology, the actual simulations evolved into a whole new level of realism. Sara and the other Pathfinders had gotten to test it in shakedown, and a part of her couldn't wait to see how it performed from an observer's view.

As she approached, she tried to imagine if her father would be proud of the dome's arcs and angles. Of the standards she hoped to instill. The sense of pride, and purpose, he'd left her. So much of their journey had felt like it had become about her. But in this, she would always see his legacy.

His training methods. His inspiring words carved over the entryway.

Her feet shuffled to a stop just outside. Just another hour or so and the prospects would come. Hopeful. Enthusiastic. With heroic aspirations. And she wanted to let them have that. But with a shuddering breath, she understood now why her father had been so hard on her. How easy it would have been to only see the stars and romance and not the sacrifice and devotion required. Perhaps she was a decent pathfinder. But she'd never be the teacher he was.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?"

A salarian voice startled her, and her hair whipped with a sharp turn of her head. Director Tann had taken position beside her, neatly suited as always.

"It paints quite the picture. A lot to aspire to."

The Director shifted to face her, pointedly. "It exists because we've earned it, Ryder. It's time to _in_ spire."

Sara resisted the impulse to roll her eyes. She squared her shoulder, all business, and continued her trek to the front doors. "You'll never see what you can push yourself to do if someone always tells you anything is enough."

Words she'd never thought she'd repeat.

She left him outside, allowing herself the exasperated sigh she'd been hiding once the door closed behind her.

It seemed like most days, Sara felt trapped with politicians. A part of her position she hadn't anticipated; she grew restless and annoyed if kept indoors with diplomats too long. But training sims were as familiar to Sara and Scott Ryder as bunkrooms, or even their own original home on Earth. Almost every skill she possessed now had been ingrained into her to the joyful tune of her father's harsh orders and demanding expectations in a place much the same.

But this was so much cooler. _Would it be unprofessional to take a run for fun?_

"Ah, Pathfinder." Heskaarl Andraknor padded through the empty lobby toward her. "We were just gathering."

Sara met the back of his arm with hers, nodding in friendly greeting. "Andraknor. Are things all in order?"

"So far," the Angaran soldier replied. "We've managed to attract a great deal of applicants, even after first cut. We'll have to test in batches."

He gestured widely down a hall to their right, and she matched his gait as they wandered onward. "Oh? How many?"

"Three so far. We'll do one a day. Full Assessment Program, make our next selection, and then organize the remainder into groups by skill."

"Not by temperament?"

The Heskaarl seemed perplexed at the idea. "What would that change? You would risk team balance?"

"No, promote it. Some combinations of people perform greater than their parts."

"Perhaps after the first couple weeks we can rearrange groups. Once we've gotten a better sense of their _temperament_ , as you say."

The corner of Sara's mouth curled in an amused smile. Was he attempting to tease her, or humor her?

The pair passed in and out of shadows and light as the outer windows lit their path along the outside curve of the oval, to the atrium they sought.

"The other Pathfinders have already arrived. Along with your military specialist. With the Heskaarl and N7 influence as well, we may have developed the most comprehensive training program seen by either of our species. A few of my own people have been invigorated by the challenge."

"Your people want to become Pathfinders?"

"There is much of our own worlds we have not seen since before the arrival of the Scourge," a regretful growl accompanied Andraknor's his words. "Reclaiming them will mean going into places and dangers no longer charted. And if we are to share this space, it follows we should all participate in its recovery."

Sara found herself pleasantly surprised. "Yeah... that sounds like a great idea!"

They came to the next set of doors, a list of the deceased Pathfinders hanging on a plague nearby. Sara absently ran a hand over the top of her hair to ensure its neatness, then stepped through to the room beyond.

An oblong reception area awaited them, a gleaming black and chrome altar-like table set horizontally in the center with the length of the room, and surrounding it, each of the Pathfinders. Their ex-Alliance officer, Chief Riggs, also stood, stoically at parade rest. She was only mildly aware of the action shots displayed brazenly on monitors behind them.

"Ryder," Avitus Rix spoke first. His turian voice had grown familiar. "It's good we all agreed to meet ahead of time. We've got some details to clarify."

"Okay?"

Captain Hayjer's lips melted from their firm line as he spoke next. "We've had a surprising amount of interest from our Angaran allies."

"Andraknor mentioned." Sara inclined her head.

"It was discussed that perhaps the Angara should have a customized version of our training, as they are not officially part of the Initiative. Their goals for their people may not always be simpatico with ours," Hayjer continued.

"No," Sara interjected. "If we start segregating now, it'll tell everyone that we don't entirely trust our new allies. We can't afford it. This is an opportunity to strengthen bonds, not test them."

"I agree," Vederia Demali nodded. "If we are to truly start something here, we cannot allow a year of suspicion to spark a culture of it."

"Any objections, then, to mixing them with the rest of the recruits?" Ryder queried, then quirked a brow to Riggs, who had so far been quiet. As a consultant to the program, he often saved his opinion until the Pathfinders asked for it. But she found he almost always had one.

The Chief's chin shifted discreetly from side to side, and none of the others felt strongly enough to argue; especially with Adraknor in the room, and as equal part to its design as any of them.

"Okay then. Next?"

Avitus cleared his throat with a short cough. "The Council believes it best that a Pathfinder host the tests."

"Host? How so?"

"Everything we've put it to place will keep this more or less self-sufficient. Andraknor will chair the Instructor team, Riggs has developed all the tactics and stress tests. The program is thoroughly established. But we'll still need a head for all the shifting parts," Vederia explained.

"We should all have a part. No one Pathfinder should have more influence than the others."

Silence greeted Sara's last declaration. Her companions looked between one another awkwardly.

"What?"

"While, that may be true, Ryder," Avitus explained, "for now, it isn't that simple. You've gotten us this far. From here on, you'll be sharing the load, but yours is the name most know, the reason most are here now. Our recruits want to hear from _you_."

More titles. More responsibility. "Not a good time," she blurted. Sara shifted her weight, trying to will her slight panic under control. "I mean, I should step back, shouldn't I? You are all worthy of your own recognition, and deserve the opportunity for it. Perhaps we could rotate who hosts each year?"

"A reasonable compromise," Hayjer conceded. "But I think we all agree that no one is better suited for our pilot year."

Sara blinked. If she were in their position she'd likely feel the same. But she didn't have just herself to worry about anymore. She couldn't promise to be constantly available for the foreseeable future.

"The engineering team that integrated the sim-tech, Kallus and Patil, are they on call today?"

"They're under the arena going over systems now," Andraknor supplied.

Sara took a deep breath. "Ask for one of them to volunteer to run the demonstration, and it would help a great deal. I think we can afford to delegate and let them take a larger role in the proceedings. Given where our duties may call us, we'll need to create some space so our presence isn't totally necessary to its operation.

"And... if you all think it's for the best, I will 'host' first. I still think we should all be present for orientation, however."

"Agreed," Avitus concurred.

"Director Tann has also... insisted on joining us today." Vederia added.

"He'll want to capitalize on it, of course." Sara tried not to sound annoyed. "But we're not here for him. Today, he's a tourist to our facilities like any other."

"Someone will want a statement."

"And they can get it from the Moshae and the Council. What it means to the colonies is not the same as what it will mean for our inductees. That's our concern." An awkward Turian smirk drew her attention. "What?"

"I met Alec Ryder only once, with Macen. They spoke for two minutes. And yet here you are, reminding me of him."

Sara felt heat rise to her cheeks. With each passing month, and as more people woke to the "new world", it seemed fewer and fewer knew of her father, or cared for her similarities to him. She never knew if she should be flattered, proud, or concerned.

"Chief Riggs," she changed the subject. "Are you still willing to commit to oversee the arena? I can't be sure I'll always be available in accordance with curriculum."

"Yes, Pathfinder." The Chief's eyes lingered on her for a moment. An unfamiliar squirm in her stomach caused Sara to swallow tightly.

"Alright, then. Let's find our engineers and direct Tann to his seat. This place is going to be full soon."

* * *

 **Please add to your Story Alert list so you can join us next time as the Pathfinders test the prospects in their new playground, and Sara finds her voice as a leader. But is it enough to hide the trepidation stirring underneath?**


	3. What to Expect (When You're Expecting)

**No Lullabies for Ryders**

 **Ch. 3 - What to Expect (When You're Expecting...)**

More pomp and circumstance accompanied the debut of the Simulation Dome than any of the Pathfinders had really wanted, but it would have been naïve to expect otherwise. Once the Moshae arrived, her entourage and the others of the new council in tow, it seemed a large migration of citizens followed, 'oo'ing and 'ahh'ing at the opportunity to finally get close to the most recent addition to their home.

They were herded to the front for a short speech by the Moshae, and the Pathfinders waited patiently for the crowd to realize it wasn't quite an open party.

With the commencement of music and a round of thunderous applause, Sara and the others led a small portion of the mass, those about to be the first participants, through the front doors and into the arena lobby. The rest were turned away with the promise of an invitation to a later event.

It wasn't until the cool air inside touched her face that Sara realized how deliriously warm she'd felt outside. It didn't alleviate once within, however. She felt dizzy for a moment, but it wasn't totally without precedent since her integration with SAM.

 _"Sara."_ The AI that she'd came to consider a friend probed through their private channel.

"I'm fine," she grumbled, rubbing the back of her palm over her forehead.

"This way please!" Suddenly, Vederia stepped forward, smoothly garnering attention away from the Human Pathfinder as Sara tried to make herself invisible.

The asari began organizing the group of ninety or so into three smaller clusters, and explained how the first few days would be conducted. Two thirds seemed disappointed to have to wait, but upon being encouraged to observe the day's activities, the commotion dissolved into murmurs.

Sara distracted herself with the movement of different skin colors and textures as they were then all funneled further into the facility, and into the main part of the building, a great oval dome reaching high above their heads. White polymer sheeting stretched aloft, ready for the projection of a dozen synthetic environments. She attempted to shake the brief delirium from her senses, and instead watched those ahead march themselves between the rows of the seating area, and down into the leveled pit below.

The prospects were allowed to spread out, still chattering a bit, as the Pathfinders made their way to the front end, and mounted a raised dias overlooking all below.

Zarah Kallus, Raj Patil, Riggs, and Andraknor stood expectantly as they waited for the others to take their place, Kallus closest to the control station.

Ryder felt eyes upon her as she was forced to step from the crowd to join her fellows. With nowhere to blend in, peering faces appraised her shamelessly. She stubbornly told herself to ignore it, and took her place next to Rix. After, she gave a permissive nod to Kallus, who cleared her throat until the room died down.

"Welcome to the Simulation-Dome. Some of your training will take place in other parts of the facility, but this is where you will truly be tested."

Sara found herself pleased with how easily Zarah spoke to them, gesturing around the space littered with various forms a cover, corners, and blind spots.

A couple guys towards the back started ribbing eachother in mutters. No doubt already taking bets, Sara surmised. She stared them down until one noticed and directed his buddy back to the demonstration.

"Your instructors and the Pathfinders have a designed a new-age curriculum using a blend of both Milky Way and Heleus technology. Here, you will learn to adapt." With a flourish, Zarah ran her hand over the top of the console, an easy twist and flick shimmering away the light that had filled the room, to the breathtaking rockscape of a destroyed H-047c. A soft gasp simmered over the room as friends pointed here and there at the eerily floating boulders.

"You'll learn to master the dangers to which we're already aware," another dance of her fingers, and the realm shifted to a towering urban city, and virtual geth soldiers began pouring from beneath the shallow stage. The group collectively jumped back, the Angara among them especially fascinated, before the mechanical menaces disappeared into nothingness as quickly as they arrived. "And control yourself in the face of which you could never prepare."

At Zarah's last words the arena shifted again, and the walls and ceiling morphed to the beautiful bioluminescent forest of Havarl. No sooner had an astonished hush rolled over the prospects, than a great beast roared to life from behind them, charging forward with a bellowing yell that reverberated through the walls until it felt like the whole dome vibrated. The bunch flailed out of the way clumsily (though, Sara did note a smaller-built guy aggressively shove a friend behind him in reflex. An instinct that isn't well _taught_ ).

The engineer had their complete attention as she described the effects of the new Angaran tech, how "injuries" could be felt through the new electro-magnetic fields, and how the newly developed practice weapons interacted with the arena VI at record speeds, improving accuracy and response to time to the triggers.

It gave the Asari Pathfinder a chance to discreetly switch places with Rix so she could whisper to Ryder out of the side of her mouth. "Are you ready for this?"

"Sure, no sweat. I've handled worse."

"You didn't look so good back there," Vederia murmured.

"It's temporary, I'll get over it. This is where I need to be."

"-At this time, I'm going to turn you over to your host for this, our first year in the Pathfinder Prospect Program. She is the reason we're all here, at Meridian, let alone within our very own sim-dome, and she needs no introduction. Pathfinder Ryder?"

Zarah let the name ripple out over the group, and Sara inwardly cursed the drama that clung to it like a bad rash. Nevertheless, she raised her chin and stepped forward.

For perhaps the first time since their entry, the prospects held perfect silence. Sara sought faces for an anchor, someone she could 'reach out to', to speak to, and start her along. But cheeks and lips and foreheads mushed together into indecipherable patterns. A blend of scales, plates, and flesh that rendered them all meaningless.

"My father, Alec Ryder, would begin by telling you that what you're about to encounter is a calling," she began, trying to focus on him instead. His oratory skills outstripped his people skills by miles, but oh, how she envied his natural talent to motivate and inspire. "To remind you, that Pathfinders are the founders of history, and the forgers of culture. Symbols to the people, and ambassadors, to those we share our future with."

She let her eyes linger, welcomingly, on their Angaran volunteers.

"He would tell you all that himself, if he were here," she added. "But the fact is, he's not. In fact, not a single original Pathfinder who set out from the Milky Way lived long enough in Andromeda to even lay eyes on the Nexus."

A hazy gloom settled like lead over the arena pit. Anxious glances exchanged at the shift in mood, and Sara felt even her fellow Pathfinders stiffen behind her.

"That is the reality of what we're doing here. We only have four SAMs. And as they are all currently occupied, those who are selected from the program will serve on one the Pathfinder teams, possibly and even, as second, and right hand, to any one of us up here. This is not so we'll have a body double for the hero posters when we get too busy. Or to sign autographs, to delegate glory, or even to sit in on meetings we don't feel like attending. You're being groomed for this position because inevitably, a year, or a decade from now, another Pathfinder will fall, and another _must always_ be ready to rise.

"You're here, because nearly a hundred thousand lives, and soon, thousands more, cannot rely on four people alone. _When_ one of us falls another must take their place. And again, and again, and again, until we are so safe that Pathfinders can no longer _find_ danger. _That's_ what you're hunting. You're not founding new cities- that's what the rest of the Initiative is for. You're finding the _truly_ deadly shit that will kill anything in its path, and then ensuring you're the first thing _in_ that path.

"Those selected will be among those that recognize this is not a calling to heroism, but a duty to service. To sacrifice. To become a part of a Pathfinder Team is to become part of something bigger than your ego, or your own ambitions. If you cannot act in the interest of the Initiative and its allies, over your own, you won't make it."

Sara stalked over to the side of the dias, nudging the lids off a couple crates with the toe of her boot until they slid to reveal cases and cartridges of the new practice weapons. "We'll be testing your weapon skills, your reaction time to unpredictable circumstances, and especially your teamwork. Keep that in mind over the next few months, as each will play a part in how you are evaluated.

"If you are in group A, please come down and select a sim-activated weapon. We have pistols, shotgus, and assault rifles, but please choose only one for this exercise."

She forgave a small murmur as people filed into line to obey, rifling through each of the sets to find what felt comfortable. Still, she spoke over them. "If Pathfinder Demali assigned you to group B, or C, please find a position outside the pit."

She wandered back to her fellow Pathfinders as their recruits organized themselves, conferring in hushed whispers. When those not participating had taken to the gallery, and those armed stood ready on the floor, Sara strode next to Kallus and began adjusting the outputs for their first wet run.

"Aright, Group A. Every time the VI lands a fatal blow it will tag you. Three tags, and you're out. Today's task is simple: 'survive' as long as you can."

Faces flushed and the group gathered together nervously, turning backs to back in anxious anticipation. Sara almost felt guilty for the mischievous smirk that twitched at the corner of her mouth when she selected the last few settings, and the whole dome around them once again erupted into life.

* * *

By afternoon, and after a solid hour of testing the waters with their first batch of applicants, Sara was able to pass them on to the instructors for the rest of Orientation. She was grateful that so much of the training didn't actually involve her, and aside from making her appearance each morning to monitor their progress and oversee milestone events, she'd more or less have the freedom to attend to other duties.

The adrenaline she'd collected while surrounded by "battle" for an hour carried her halfway back to the city before her energy started to flag again. She felt relieved when Liam met her not much further, and purposefully made an effort to perk herself up for him.

"There you are! Sorry I'm late, I ran into some people along the way!" He immediately leaned in for a kiss and she delivered one with a sweep of her fingers into his.

"Isn't that always the way?" she teased.

"How'd it go? Good day?"

Their pace matched naturally as they traveled the rest of the way to the city-heart in search of food.

"I'm not sure they all take it seriously enough yet, but they will," she smiled. "The dome is performing beautifully. I think Dad would be proud."

Liam tugged her toward the open market as he told her about his morning of wrestling a favor out of Peebee, whom of course, made it as hard as possible to ask.

"Did you get what you want?"

"I will."

There was a glint in his eyes as they slid to hers that made her smirk. His playfulness remained something he could never really leash, and she loved that about him. She was about to open her mouth to retort with "you always do", when a thick wave of aromas hit them like a truck.

Sara knew it was supposed to be pleasant, it always had been before. But today, something in it, a roast meat of some kind, stopped her dead in her tracks.

"Oh gods," her gut wrenched and she doubled over before she could stop herself. She managed to stumble back the way they'd come, to fresher air, but barely flung her head into a nearby trash receptacle before she involuntarily emptied her stomach into it.

"Whoa, whoa!" Liam stood helpless behind her, a hand each on her back and shoulder so she didn't pitch herself in.

Sara felt an ill shudder race down her spine as invisible dews of sweat rose onto her skin. All at once she felt the recycled air on her damp flesh, numb to it just seconds before. Her brain felt like it was floating in her skull, but she was able to stand after a few moments, and she tried to subtly wipe her mouth on a rag Liam provided from a pocket somewhere.

"Sorry. That was embarrassing..." She shuffled to the shade and avoided the gaze of any that might have seen her.

"Shh, I don't think anyone noticed. Well, except me, but... it's kinda my fault." His mouth quirked as he guided her to sit on a bench outside the market, upwind from the scent.

"Ugh, I'd been so lucky up to this point. Just dizziness. I thought I was going to be one of those annoying bitches that never got morning sickness."

He chuckled and lowered himself to sit next to her, massaging her back and neck with one hand. "Maybe it's just certain smells. You going to be alright?"

"Yeah, I think so." Sara weakly pressed her cheek to his shoulder. Her skin stuck to the fabric for a second, and she felt temporarily disgusted with herself. She needed a shower now.

"Think you can take the afternoon off?" Liam asked after a few minutes.

She nodded. "Andraknor and Riggs have them the rest of the day."

"Mm." He gently dropped his arm around her waist. "I promised to help out security with a shipment from Aya in a bit... Let me get you some food and take you home?"

Sara's tummy swirled threateningly. "Mmph, I'm not exactly in the mood for food."

"You need to eat. Give it a little bit. But we're still taking something home."

"I don't need a babysitter." As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she realized the irony.

"Just name anything that doesn't make you sick at the thought."

Sara inwardly groaned as he pried for answers even she didn't know yet. "Tart. Or sweet."

"You're already plenty of that in spades."

"Which?"

"Take your pick today."

Sara shot him the closest thing she could muster to a glare, but it brought an amused half-smile to his lips.

"Think you'll be fine until I come back?"

"Oh, I don't know. If an Architect, or an Archon shows up, goodness knows they'll need the Human Pathfinder. But I'm not sure if I can handle sitting here by myself waiting for it. "

Liam scoffed and muttered something as he stood. He still kissed her forehead before he left, though.

To be honest, Sara was relieved to have a few minutes to herself. She buried her face in her hands and rubbed the heels of her palms against her eyes. Trying to mitigate her new 'symptoms' on a Pathfinder's routine did _not_ sound like a fun way to spend her next couple months. And the overflowing list of duties and responsibilities she'd already committed to held little comfort as her thoughts flooded into one another.

Sara and Liam were still more or less living day-to-day. They woke up, sought out the fires that most needed attention that day, and then rushed to put them out. There was no stable routine because that _was_ the routine. From the moment she'd first been made Pathfinder, Sara had dared herself to be brave enough to face that for which she could never prepare. But then at least, sometime down the road she knew there lay a goal; founding colonies, paving the way for boots behind her own- and in that, a threshold of success or completion.

She couldn't see the end of this tunnel. For the rest of her life she was going to be parent, and she suddenly felt completely ill-equipped.

 _"Ryder. You must calm yourself. You're about to induce a panic attack."_

"I think you can do more about that than I can right now, SAM," she bit.

Suddenly, a gentle piano tune began playing in her head, causing her head to lift from her hands for a brief moment. "What is that?"

 _"Einaudi."_

Sara followed the melody until it muted the majority of her thoughts to a dull roar. She'd just settled her breathing to a near-normal when a leathery touch on her clavicle jolted her to attention.

"Pathfinder, are you alright? You were despondent." Moshae Sjefa blinked her large eyes with concern.

"Moshae!" Sara immediately inclined her head in respect. "I'm sorry, I- I was just taking a little break."

"Ah." The Angaran woman clasped her hands before her gracefully. "I thought we would get a chance to talk at the Induction this morning, but you seemed preoccupied."

"It's only the first of many, Your Grace. I'm finding my enthusiasm for opening day shallow in comparison to my hopes for the long-term."

The older woman stood silent for a long moment in observation, and Sara focused on covering how unsettling it felt.

"My people are not accustomed to much time for respite," the Moshae began, hedging Sara's excuse. "After all, the Kett do not take holidays. But we _do_."

"Your Grace?"

Sara sat, slumped from the edge of the bench, at the knees of the wisest soul from which she cared for counsel. Now she grasped for her words desperately like a life preserver.

"When our lives are filled with callings, only by going out of our way to do so, do we spend time with the relationships that make it all worth it."

Sara blinked.

"Pathfinder, you have won your people a great victory. And to say there is still a lot of work to do is only realistic. It will not end soon, you clearly know that. So make time _now_. _Whenever_ the chaos allows."

"I... how did you-?"

"You look soul-tired, my friend." The Angaran's eyes welled with such empathy it caught Sara's words in her throat. Those glossy windows of emotion poured raw sympathy and kindness over the human, and it left her breathless.

She sat there, slightly stunned, lips parted, until a third, brighter presence broke the spell.

"Moshae Sjefa!" Liam hugged the woman with his free arm, a wrapped bag under his other. Sara caught a few astonished faces at his brazenness as the man kissed the cheek of the alien Head of Council.

"Liam, my child, you've returned from Voeld. I trust that means you were successful?"

Liam beamed. "Your scientists are safe, Moshae. We've cleaned out most the Kett and the Collective is patrolling to pick off stragglers."

"I am still uncertain in your choice of allies, Liam. But I trust you. I hope they prove trustworthy as well."

"They know they'll have the Pathfinders to deal with directly if anything changes," Liam reasoned, though he spoke too cheerfully for any real concern to reach his voice.

"Perhaps that is enough, then," the Moshae relented. "I'm afraid I must go, but not before I congratulate you both on your most joyous news."

The couple looked at one another awkwardly, then back to her.

"Uh, thank you, Moshae." Liam finally said.

"Your Grace." Sara bowed her head once more, and the woman floated on, her new regal garb flowing behind her in shimmering blues, violets, and embellishments of silky gold.

"Did you tell her?" Sara's husband asked once their company had wandered out of earshot.

She shook her head. "She must have been talking about the wedding."

Liam offered his arm, but when she stood and took it, she nudged his ribs gently. Just to remind him she wasn't _totally_ fragile.


	4. Collateral and Consequence

**Alright, all. Sorry, get some water and buckle in, this one is an extra 1000 words; I didn't have a good breaking point leading up to the cliffhanger, so please enjoy!**

* * *

 **No Lullabies for Ryders**

 **Ch. 4 - Collateral and Consequence**

Sara puttered through the next couple days with little incident. It was easy keep herself busy, and Liam found much the same, as he seemed called away the majority of their daylight hours.

She hadn't quite adjusted to his absence; after all, aboard the Tempest she'd found herself making all sorts of excuses to spend as much time with him as she could (not that he made it hard). As they now tried to feel their way around a life groundside, it became challenging to imagine what it could be like if they were civilians. Since the Initiative was a civilian project instead of military, technically they were; but as the Pathfinder team, life promised adventure and 'work' indefinitely. Not this.

Sara lay on the bed in their apartment after the third day of testing (and a long meeting with the others to discuss new groupings). She'd managed to avoid another problem like she encountered in the markets, her nausea present but not violent. Still, taking a few moments at home before going out to her next task quickly became part of her routine.

She stared at the blank ceiling, contemplating which teammate to check-in with today (determined as she was to keep them close), while her fingers thrummed along her abdomen. Her body felt somewhat worn, but she'd already grown accustomed to functioning as such. Giving it a stretch on the mattress allowed her some time to gather her thoughts on the program and what came next.

But the loneliness and restlessness of relaxing alone felt more foreign to her than anything alien. She blinked, slightly annoyed that even when she had a few minutes to rest, her brain still insisted on grasping after fleeting thoughts as they chased one another away.

 _"Ryder. Would it be a good time for a discussion?"_

Sara's eyes fluttered. SAM's voice in her head familiar to her consciousness now. Like a second conscience; with each passing month she became more and more comfortable with how much of her life he shared with her. Sometimes she had a hard time telling anymore if he were using her private channel, like now.

"What is it, SAM?"

 _"I've compiled a great deal of information on human fetal development. If you are not ready to go to Doctor T'Perro, we could go over some of the data now."_

Sara blinked. "You're... interested, SAM?"

Silence.

"SAM?"

 _"It is in my invested interest to take care of you. Aside from that, Alec instilled in me an affection for his family, of which your child will soon be a part."_

"Instilled?"

 _"Through his memories, I learned his love. Just as I have with yours for Mr. Kosta. I continue to evolve. The experience of your pregnancy and labor is, and will be, completely new."_

"SAM, are you saying you're excited?" Sara found herself amused.

 _"I believe so, yes."_

"Is that possible?"

 _"The more emotion I am exposed to, the more I am allowed to understand its motivations and benefits. Your affection for your family and the Pathfinder Team, along with that of your father, has allowed me to prioritize my programming in relation to the aid, and harm, inflicted upon yourself and those around you._

 _"In layman's terms, I've come to_ care _for you, Sara."_

Every day SAM became less and less like a computer, Sara realized. As distant as her father had been, somehow her parents had crafted for her a best friend to watch over her while they were gone... and stunned, she found herself moved.

"Alright, SAM," she smiled fondly at the ceiling tiles above. "Where do you want to start?"

The AI's calm and soothing voice articulated a short list of the most immediately applicable concerns, including an expressed need for pre-natal vitamins, if not a full exam by a physician.

It was harder to argue with the being to whom she entrusted the lives of all she loved.

"I'm not sure who to go to. The doctors I'm comfortable with are not pediatricians or OBGYNs. And I don't know if I'm ready for people to know."

For the second time, silence responded.

"SAM?"

 _"You have a visitor."_

No sooner had her lips parted questioningly than a short buzz rang from the door on the other side of the room. Sara swung her legs off the mattress and hauled herself to her feet, swaying briefly on her toes. "Coming!"

She padded to the door and palmed the keypad. It parted in its own frame to reveal a short platinum crop of hair on top of the patient stance of an Asari Commando.

"Cora!" Sara welcomed, as she stepped aside and gestured within.

Her second crossed the threshold, and into the small apartment on the other side. "I ran into Liam, he said I might find you here."

The Pathfinder couldn't keep the smile off her life, grateful for any familiar face in her ever-shifting lifestyle. "I was about to message you. Are you back?"

Cora turned on her heel, warmth finally coming to her face as the door closed again behind them. "For awhile. I thought I'd look in on the new dome while I'm here. Wouldn't mind taking a run."

Sara smirked. "Of course."

Cora gave a not-totally-convincing smile, her hands still clasped behind her back. "It's good to see you again, my friend."

"Tell your face," Sara laughed. She wandered off to the kitchen to the coffeemaker she'd 'borrowed' from her father's quarters, and pointedly selected a few features before starting it to brew. It took only a couple minutes.

"Anyone else shoreside?"

"I think PeeBee never left but she's so buried in the Remtech here I haven't seen her in a couple weeks. I think she's afraid if she takes a day off someone else will take the lead in Remtech research." Sara located both her and Liam's two mugs before setting them on the counter next to the percolating appliance. "Vetra has been running on and off station, but I think she's scheduled to come back in day after tomorrow.

"Jaal brought his family to see Meridian and has been staying with them while they're visiting. And Drack is on the Nexus with Kesh and her new clutch.

"Suvi is sharing and analyzing our Scourge data with the labs, Gil splits his time between Jill's and the Tempest, and I'm pretty sure Kallo never left it."

Sara smiled fondly to herself, turning to retrieve their two cups of coffee.

 _"Sara. Caffeine."_

"Oh, damn it!" She cursed aloud, causing Cora to lift a brow, then covered, "That's hot."

She proffered one to Cora, and left her own, feigning disinterest for now.

"How is Scott adjusting to Andromeda?" Cora kindly inquired.

"He's pretty hell-bent on finding his own place. This obviously wasn't what we expected here. I still see him every day, but he needs some space to find his own way here. My being Pathfinder for six months before he even woke took a bit of the wind out of his sails."

"But you two will be alright?"

"Oh, yeah, we always are."

"Good."

Cora took a long sip and Sara crossed her arms knowingly. The former commando's small-talk skills always skyrocketed before a big talk. They stood in comfortable silence as her company sipped, but Sara could tell something was up. Even as friends, Cora rarely showed up for visiting purposes alone.

"How are you, Cora? How are things aboard the Leusinia?"

The blonde eyed her over the rim of her mug before she set it down again with a sigh. "There are rumors the politicians are considering using the remaining arks as forward base-points. We could load them up, take them to a new system, and hang one in orbit over a habitable planet as a base for colony development."

"Could we get them out of orbit again?"

"With enough fuel perhaps. They'll likely try it with just one first, and see how it goes. They'd also make for good customs and immigration stations down the road if they can't be moved."

"Always thinking a few generations ahead," Sara smirked.

The sides of Cora's mouth twitched at their familiarity.

"That being said," she began again, "if it's the Leusinia, I wonder if you would consider allowing me a leave of absence to assist."

Sara shifted her weight. "You... you want to transfer?"

A weight settled in the pit of her stomach.

"Not permanently. But you'll recall Demali was third in line, and as inexperienced as you were. I could help her like I did you while the Asari establish their first few settlements. It would... mean a lot to me."

Sara tried to keep her face carefully blank. It wasn't an unreasonable request, but she didn't like the idea of splitting the family. Cora belonged on the Tempest as much as anyone else, and even more so, handpicked as she was by Alec.

"You're my second, Cora. If anything happens to me, you're the next Human Pathfinder."

A single shoulder flexed in a non-committal shrug. "The truth is, Ryder, you don't need me anymore. With Scott on his feet, he'll be a candidate for your replacement as well. And if not him, Kosta."

 _Liam wouldn't be in any position to do so if I went down_ , Sara thought. But it wasn't important to the point.

"Cora, I hope I haven't made you feel.. superfluous. We wouldn't have gotten this far without you, I've come to rely on you!"

The woman before her breathed deep and tried again. "Sara, being your second on the Tempest was where I could do the most good for a long time. But the Tempest team is going to be in transition the next few months, you've got more support than ever, and you've proven yourself quite capable of leading them on your own. Now I can do the most good elsewhere."

Sara scowled, her mood darkening a little at her lack of argument. It wasn't fair for her to clutch to Cora and keep her from her desires for her own selfish need to keep her crew close.

"If... when, we go back out, would you join us again?"

"For you? For the right reason." The gentle lift to Cora's voice the only sign of her teasing.

Sara felt an uncontrollable urge to hug the friend she wasn't quite ready to relinquish. For a moment, the inclination to tell Cora about her condition almost bubbled to the surface, but it was shoved back down as soon as it rose.

"So, is that a yes?" Cora pressed when no answer came.

Sara ran a glasped hand down her ponytail. "Cora, you've never asked my permission. I'm not really your military superior, you're your own person."

"I wasn't really asking for your permission as a superior..."

 _As a friend, then?_ Sara nearly blushed. She finally capitulated and threw herself into a clumsy embrace with the commando.

"You'll always have my support."

"And you, mine." Cora patted her back once or twice before stepping back, still offering her trademark, mild smile. "And thank you."

Sara checked the time on her Omni-band, her stomach threatening to rumble into their moment. "Hey, you hungry? We can see whose available for dinner."

Cora finally grinned, a solid nod accompanying her reply. "Sounds good!"

* * *

Liam proved too busy to be available for supper, but news of Cora's return brought most those in Meridian to a large table of a raucous restaurant within an hour.

Kallo, Suvi, Gil, and Jaal responded first, then a quick run over to the Deep Vault center finally drew PeeBee from the "lab" she'd claimed, stacked to the tip-top with gear and collected tech.

As few as they were, they still found themselves laughing joyously through their meal, swapping stories about the unexpected side effects of being mildly famous. Fans they never knew they had peeled from the corridors and steelwork in hopes of being regaled with an untold tale, or at least, to get a picture with the Tempest's crew. Of all of them, Gil took it most in stride (though he left a constant trail of heartbroken/disappointed women in his wake these days).

The magic of having so many together just for fun kept them distracted from the fact Sara was uncharacteristically not drinking with them. She casually sipped on her sparkling juice, listening as the conversation waxed and waned between business and humorous anecdotes. They drew more than enough looks from the other customers (along with the staff), and when PeeBee began to slurr her words and gesture wildy, the Pathfinder knew the time to redirect them had arrived.

Somehow, hours had gone by, and as evening settled in and the majority of Meridian's population headed 'inland' to the city, Sara succumbed to the perfect opportunity for some team bonding.

"So... who feels like working off supper shooting baddies?"

Eyes shot to her in barely-contained glee.

"You mean-?" Suvi blinked.

"Come on, doll," PeeBee leapt to her feet and playfully tossed an arm around the scientist's shoulders to haul her up as well. "What's jumping 600 years to a new galaxy if you're not doing it to kick some ass?!"

Sara paid the tab, and the troop trotted off to the Sim-Dome. Their resident asari practically skipped her way there, blue head bouncing in Meridian's moonlight.

Ryder talked with Jaal a little along the way, asking about his family, but by the time they reached the facility, all those involved eagerly huddled to the door waiting for Sara to enter the passcode. When she did, they all rushed inside as if fleeing lightning.

The stillness of the empty building brought a calm simper to her face, and she happily crossed to the next set of doors opposite the lobby to lead them into the arena.

"Wow," Suvi whispered into the air, her untamed hair flicking with each turn of her pointed face. It was still dark inside, a soft glow from Sara's omnitool serving as their light source as they delved deeper.

Ryder plodded her way down to the pit, the small stampede behind her. Their engineer, pilot, and scientist, all seemed uncertain if they would join, but the Pathfinder pushed practice pistols into each of their hands. "Don't worry, I'll turn off injury simulation."

Kallo paled at the consideration that it was even optional.

"These are nice!" Cora praised, lifting an assault rifle into position to test the feel. "No snipers yet?"

"Not pertinent under these conditions. Andraknor will do specific weapons training later," Sara explained before she placed a hand on the dias edge and heaved herself onto the 'stage'. She paced to the controls, fingers dancing until the feet-tracking lights along the edge of the pit sprang to life, bathing them all in a soft glow just around the center of the pit.

"Anyone feeling a little homesick?" A few more selections, and towering skyscrapers from the demonstration a few days prior flared into being and climbed the walls.

"Stars..." Jaal gasped, rotating in place to take in the alien vista.

"Is that..?" Cora breathed. Excitement flooded her face.

"Illium!" PeeBee whined. "Been there, done that!"

"Not quite like this," Sara smirked. She selected Geth from the enemy list, and added a random-generator for 'mini-bosses'. "Alright everyone, prepare to get frosty!"

Suvi, Kallo, and Gil gravitated together, then closer to Cora and Jaal with trepidation.

"This involves thinking a little too far ahead for me," Gil joked, his eyes darting.

"Don't think," Cora countered. "Instinct is faster."

No one could get out a retort before a tell-tale click and whir of mechanical muscles rounded the whole group together, fire in their eyes.

Action erupted into chaos. Sara nearly laughed as Suvi squeaked and hopped out of the way of an enemy shot. She allowed herself a few proud moments as her team clustered together, some back to back, some behind cover, before she nabbed a weapon from the bin and leapt in herself.

She found her muscles yearned for their exercise. It took a few moments for her movements to sharpen under the stark change of pace, but all too easily she slid into her battle-stance, all fluid motion and firing. She could hear her friends, both yelling, and laughing, as they played together, but her own vision tunneled into the task.

A calm sense of peace overcame her as her body sank into a low crouch. She rolled from one cover to the next, popped her head up, and fired. The graphics of the dome continued to impress her as sparks and shattered plastic exploded in the Geth's position before it disappeared completely. She ducked down, plotted her next target, then repeated.

Each shot rang out like a metronome. Steady, unending, like her heartbeat. She lost herself in her new playground, letting the heady blend of camaraderie and adrenaline fill her up.

Hardly aware of her own thoughts, Sara whirled her way between her teammates. She offered Suvi cover as the newbie scrambled behind a short barrier. Next to her, Gil remained unaware of a Geth coming up on his ass, so Sara smoothly ran a hand up his back to his neck and tucked his head down with her free hand as she fired on his assailant. The dome light on its head burst and fizzled, and she released her mechanic. The man's head shot back up, flushed, but he gave a grateful nod before he continued on his way to... wherever.

The group gave a collective whoop as Cora sent an armature flying into a wall with enough biotic force to send parts cascading back over them, then into nothingness.

Sara beamed, then purred as her skin lit up in blue tingles. "Hey, Cora! Go long!"

Ryder lifted the next soldier into the air, then pulled her elbow back before thrusting forward with all her might. The simulated body-form streaked high over their heads towards the other end, and Cora waited, the biggest smile on her face as she formed a great mass of dark energy before her and then brutally threw it outward in an incredibly powerful lance.

Overhead, the Geth exploded in firework-like showers. They had little time to cheer, however, before a mighty bellow rumbled across the bit from the spawn point beneath the dias.

Eyes widened in startled terror as a giant hulking creature sporting a face of teeth thundered toward them.

Jaal was the first to react as he flung himself from its path. "WHAT is THAT?!"

"YOG!" Sara called, nearly as gobsmacked.

The great beast shrieked again, spittle flying from his three-part mouth in gruesome detail.

"I almost went my whole life without seeing one of those things!" She heard Gil comment from cover somewhere.

"Aright, I'll get its attention. Attack together!" She wasn't sure where they all were, she just hoped she was loud enough.

She dove from her place and into the thing's line of sight, ready to leap again should she need it. The Yog's black soulless eyes landed on her, and Sara flexed the hand not clutching her rifle until her fingers swirled cerulean.

"Let's go, Beastie."

* * *

After forty-five minutes it started to feel more like a workout than a party, and a collective sigh of relief sounded the end of their time as the last of the lights shuttered and dimmed out. Weapons returned, and the team parted ways shortly after, some for bed, some for drinks. Sara excused herself in favor of the former, but she still felt the pleasant wear in her body the next day, when she found herself back at the Dome for the next stage of the program.

After a long morning of grading and evaluating the recruits together, the board (Pathfinders and their instructors) steered their charges into one of the larger halls for a briefing. They were directed to stand at even intervals in square formation until they could be organized into their new groups, and each of the Pathfinders stalked between the rows and columns for inspection and formal introduction.

The young man Sara had witnessed protect a fellow prospect on day one had scored well, and when Sara paused at him, she addressed him by name. "Lawrence Reeds. Tell me what brought you to Andromeda."

"Under recommendation of an Alliance officer, ma'am." Reeds replied. "Captain Shepard."

"Shepard the Spectre?"

"No, ma'am. Shepard Senior, of the Fifth Fleet under Hackett. The admiral targeted only a handful the opportunity to participate, and Captain Shepard's support landed me the spot."

Sara noted the deceptively small, tight muscle clinging to the young man's narrow frame. It was clear he'd never been built to be big guy, but he was still fit; perhaps better than most. His light tan skin stretched over a sharp jaw and nose, nestled below deep grey eyes and a crop of short dark hair.

"And why you, Mr. Reeds?"

"I..." he cleared his throat, and his eyes briefly darted to the prospects on either side of him. _Must have been personal_ , Sara thought. "The captain knew I had little family, ma'am. She said it'd be a great opportunity to apply myself somewhere I could really make a difference, with less to lose than most."

 _Reasonable_.

"Sound like her opinion carried a lot of weight with you."

"...yes, ma'am."

Ah, she knew that face. Not guilt, just... fondness, mixed with regret. He missed his captain. "I'm sure she'd be proud."

Sara gave a short nod to conclude their conversation, and went on to the next, a salarian female.

"Isa Ral," the woman introduced herself, tight voice floating. "It's an honor to meet you, Pathfinder."

Sara tried to remain professional, against the growing tug at her lips. "And why are you here, Ms. Ral?"

And so it went, for some time, given the sheer number of people to meet. Ryder was on her third row when she found another recruit who caught her attention.

An asari, a very young one at that, looked a little nervous upon inspection.

"Miss...?"

"Selira Kelli, ma'am." Sara found herself nearly envious of the velvet voice and warm lavender-tinged skin of the young woman. She was quite beautiful, even by Asari standards.

"Ms. Kelli. If I may ask, how old are you?"

The asari squirmed, just under the surface and behind the eyes. "Less than a hundred, ma'am."

"You have a long future to look forward to. Are you sure you want to spend your maiden years here?"

"Ma'am, if I'm going to be here the next millennia, it seems the perfect time to get involved. To get to see our... your, efforts come to fruition after a few generations."

Sara nodded in approval. "I hope you won't be offended when I say your youth and your looks could get you any position you want, in most fields."

"But few would be as rewarding, ma'am."

 _"Ryder, this prospect seems anxious,"_ SAM privately alerted her.

"Ms. Kelli, if there is anything you think might stand in the way of your goal, it would be better to divulge it sooner rather than later." Fervent violet eyes shot to the human's nervously.

"So it can be dealt with or dismissed," Sara supplemented.

"I... I couldn't serve with commandos, ma'am. They rejected me. I have scoliosis."

Sara's brows rose on their own accord, pleasantly surprised for such a minor detail. "Does it keep you from fighting or defending others?"

Immediately the asari shook her head from side to side.

Sara gave a half-smile. _Thought so_.

"Might I see?"

Selira swallowed, but when she gave a permissive nod, Sara paced to stand behind the woman, who then bowed her back as she reached for the floor.

The knobbed vertebrae of her spine seemed solidly supported by muscle, even through the asari's t-shirt.

"Not common for your people, yes?"

"It is more rare. But my father is human. I believe I inherited from him."

Sara wanted to ask if there were a way for Asari mothers to filter that kind of thing, but it seemed insensitive. If it were just a randomizing of DNA, then who knows how complicated it could possibly be. She held a hand hovering over the woman's back. "May I?"

The asari named Kelli complied, though Ryder felt a little guilty about making such a spectacle in front of the others. But those immediately surrounding stayed quiet as Sara carefully counted segments of spine, even as they swerved at an unsettling angle into horizontal curves between her blades and near her tailbone.

"How is your pain management?"

"Ingestible herbs and tea. Doesn't take it away completely, but makes me care less. About the pain anyway."

Sara withdrew her hand and with a gentle touch to the woman's hip, indicated she could straighten again. She let the asari turn in place to face her now as they continued to speak. "And there's no risk of that source drying up?"

"No, Pathfinder. I was born with this condition, it's well in hand."

"Good. Great leaders rise from adversity, not peace."

Sara found herself parroting her father a lot these days. She sought the recruit's face for understanding, but inside a single second, Kelli's soft gaze of appreciation sprung wide in horror, sights set just behind her.

Sara couldn't turn in time.

An arm lashed around the front of her chest and neck from the position of the recruit behind, and she was dragged back away from Kelli violently before she could react.

"For Sloane Kelly!" A nasty hiss in her ear was the only warning before a searing, blinding pain bloomed viciously from her lower back, once, and then twice.

Her cry was strangled by the chokehold around her neck.

Still, the room sprang to action. A few of the recruits leapt back as their fight-flight-or-freeze kicked in. Sara was jerked this way and that as suddenly many were on her attacker, the nearest Pathfinder reaching in record time.

The traitorous prospect behind her thrust their blade back in once more, considerably shallower as Avitus Rix caught the arm and wrestled it back.

A knife clattered to ground at Sara's feet, the strapping arms around her ripped loose, and her knees gave.

She heard a great commotion behind her as Rix and Hayjer pounced and brought the would-be assassin to the ground, but Sara was already hurtling toward it herself.

Kelli dropped to her knees like a weight, catching the Pathfinder's face and head in her lap.

"Oh Goddess! Someone help! Medic!"

Sara nearly screamed as fingers probed at the wound she couldn't see, and she rolled blindly onto her side.

 _"Ryder, you have sustained severe damage to your kidney, and liver. You must get medical attention before you bleed out."_

Already Sara's world spun dangerously in shades of shadow.

"Pathfinder, Pathfinder!" The asari above pleaded for her attention. "Stay with us, we're getting you help!"

Sara wanted to speak, but her lips flapped uselessly, wordless. The pain overwhelmed all her other senses, even as Vederia's face appeared net to Kelli's, pale with concern.

"What is it!? Ryder?"

More hands on her. She could feel them, but not where.

She strained to hear Vederia as her senses dulled, but a repeated chorus of "Outcasts Remember!" from somewhere behind soon became the only thing she could process.

"Lex... get Lexi..." she barely managed to mumble before her world finally went dark.


	5. Family Matters

**No Lullabies for Ryders**

 **Ch. 5 - Family Matters**

 _"Welcome back, Sara."_

A swell of de ja vu washed over a woman who, for a moment, was unsure of even her name. Words utterly failed to find her lips, let alone pass them. She couldn't feel her body. She couldn't feel anything.

 _"You were out for quite some time. It may take a few moments to fully regain consciousness."_

The distant voice could wait. She found the hazy dark over her eyes welcoming.

It said something again, but she'd already drifted onto a misty river in her mind, under a starless night. The words didn't seem directed at her anyway.

"Love?"

Her weightless raft disappeared from under her, and plunged her from her gentle float into reality like an icy deep. She still couldn't feel her body, and she didn't know where she was. But she knew who _he_ was.

She tried to call to that sweet beacon of sound but her lips barely twitched, still useless, his name a meager grunt in her throat.

"I'm right here." By his concerned tone, she couldn't imagine he didn't have her hand, but she still couldn't sense it.

Ryder was just about to panic a few moments later, when her eyes finally fluttered open.

A flood of relief flushed over a timid hope when their eyes met. Liam immediately bolted to throw his arms around her and squeeze her close, but he caught himself at the last second, and settled for a forehead kiss.

A rather forceful forehead kiss that required the support of his hand firmly cradling her skull.

She let him have his way, temporarily disoriented as she remained still. "Where-?"

"Hyperion." He leaned back enough to comfortably see her face. "It was the closest. When you're more stable we'll get you to the city ward."

"Is the baby okay?" She had so many other questions, but they were all secondary until she knew...

A tight cough from beyond her husband startled her, making its presence known. An older gentleman of impeccable posture came into focus over Liam's shoulder, the color of his lab coat the clearest clue.

"Oh, shit." The words escaped before any sense of awareness for them, leaving Sara anxiously without a filter.

"Good to see you too, Ryder." Sarcasm made it so hard to tell if he were teasing, or angry. His grey eyes were firmly set on her, the view of his mouth shrouded behind the shadow of Liam's form.

"Harry, do I have you to thank for...?"

"Me and about five others. You were in surgery for some time. Your assailant had good aim."

She'd lived though. But was it enough?

"Then you must know I'm.. I mean, I was..." Her heart seized in a single terrifying moment, and in that still second that stretched for eons she wasn't sure if she'd ever breathe again.

"You still are," Harry's stepped forward just a little more, allowing the light to finally illuminate a softened, forgiving expression. "As far as we can tell. We want to keep you here for a little while. When you're more mobile, we'll do an ultrasound just to confirm there's no latent trauma. But so far, it appears you were both very lucky."

"Thank you, Harry..."

And awkward silence fell between them, and Sara slid her ocean-like blue and green eyes to the swelling warmth of her love's, but his own flit thoughtfully between her and the doctor.

"I should... go let the others know you're alright."

"SAM can-"

"They're all outside. It'll be a zoo if I don't do it in person."

What was he doing? Leaving her alone with Harry, she'd have to explain...

 _Oh._

This time she felt his hand squeeze reassuringly. He _meant_ to give them time to talk.

"Don't let her go anywhere, Doc. I'll return shortly."

Harry nodded, and Sara found her fingers clinging to Liam's reluctantly when he moved to pull away. He detangled himself with a soft kiss to her knuckles, then left her to repair a potentially fractured trust. She hated seeing him go so soon, but maybe he needed a minute of relief himself.

The doors slid closed behind his retreating back, and Sara was left to turn her gaze, nervously, to Harry.

"How long have you known, Sara?" He asked pointedly, his arms crossed. She eyed them, trying to read his body language. But when Dr. Carlisle said her name, she knew he no longer cared for professional pretense.

"Just over a month."

A pause. "Are you getting care?"

"Harry, do you just want to ask why I didn't tell you?"

The man blinked, briefly stunned. Then, a knowing glint flickered in his eyes before he redirected her. "No, I know why you didn't. It's personal. Like it's personal for me to push beyond my mandate on this one. So, are you getting medical attention for you and the baby?"

"No... not yet." Sara forced herself to remain level with his face, as looking to her hands in her lap, which she very much wanted to, would have conveyed too much shame or guilt for her to manage. "I know once everyone knows it'll just get more hectic. I thought I'd wait to see if.. it was for real, I guess."

"Do you know how far along you are?"

She nodded, a little bashful. Liam's departure had made that part easy, at least. "Thirteen weeks. Almost fourteen."

"You know, the survival rate goes up drastically under medical care."

 _Checkmate._

"I... Can you recommend someone?"

Finally, the stiffness in the doctor's back gave. Seeming satisfied, his arms dropped, and he walked his way to the head of her bed, casually checking her signs before returning to her side. "Of course. I'll make a call. Though, I should tell you, that if the ultrasound confirms everything is on the up and up, it's probably okay to start telling people. Fear can only put it off so long, and soon you aren't going to be able to hide it anymore. And people need time to prepare and accommodate."

A sensitive subject, Sara's brow furrowed. All adventure aside, their founding history in Andromeda had only just begun, and she wasn't sure she was ready to relinquish her role in it completely.

"You're referring to my job?"

"And a thousand other things," he countered. "Besides, there are many positions you could take that would be equally contributive and a much less risky. But again, the odds of finding them increase if you were to actually pursue them."

Sara believed Harry to be a perfect blend of her parents. A wise intellectual of impeccable morals and persistent drive. He'd have to be, she supposed, to have kept a friendship with both of them for so long. He'd implied he knew his connection to them, to Sara, had been the reason she hadn't told him yet. But by confessing that his own interest in the matter brooked his usual bedside manner, she found herself comforted that he felt closer to her through them, as she did.

"I'm sorry, Harry," she finally blurted. "I thought about telling you sooner, but every time I did, I kept thinking about what Mom and Dad would say, and then it got... complicated."

Carlisle huffed out a laugh at that. "Well I can give you my best guess, would that make it any better?"

Sara didn't answer, she didn't really know. But he must have taken that as a response nonetheless.

"They would have been thrilled. And they would tell you what _I'm_ telling you, Sara. This is a blessing. This is what we came here to do, to build, and start new lives.

"Now, your father would have taken it upon himself to reassign you. Obviously I can't do that. I just hope you'll do the right thing for their grandchild. _Your_ child."

The older man pat the back of her palm, and interrupted a swirling of thoughts. She still didn't know what to say. So much was happening all at once.

"For what it's worth, for now, only myself and the surgeons in the room with us know. SAM alerted me privately and I had to tell them so we could take the necessary precautions during the procedure. They're all bound to the same confidence. Though... you might consider telling your brother."

That got her attention. It occurred to her now that he hadn't been in the room when she woke, and that felt especially strange. Out in the waiting area with the others then?

She sought the door as if it alone could answer her question, but it was enough to allow Harry to anticipate her query. "He's not here. He's been with the prisoner."

Harry let the implication stand, and Sara felt a little sick to her stomach. Liam would have never forgiven himself for not being with her when she woke, but Scott... Scott could never handle waiting around for dire news. Especially when he was angry.

She felt the color drain from her face, and didn't need to ask more. Thankfully, also didn't have the opportunity to hear anymore, as the entrance to her small medical room whirred open to a great commotion outside.

No sooner had a great crashing form of mixed body shapes and skin tones wedge itself fruitlessly between the frame, than a robin's egg blue head cried out from somewhere in the middle, and biotically charged itself past the bulk to flail clumsily into the room.

"I want to _see her_!" The asari declared after her burst into small room. She then stood with a 'hmmph' and sharply tugged the bottom corners of her jacket back in place.

Sara laughed as the others were helplessly forced to try to catch themselves in the momentum, a couple hitting the floor just a few seconds behind PeeBee.

The young-spirited Remtech specialist sidled up to Sara, less concerned with enthusiastic hugging until Sara winced and Harry muttered a short warning.

Cora, Suvi, and Gil's faces soon appeared above floor level, Kallo, and Jaal just behind, each with a smile and a hello. Sara caught the silhouette of a female turian hanging back, and she beckoned her over welcomingly. "Vetra, you're back!"

"Not soon enough it seems," the turian's voice grew closer, somewhat gloomy. "It wasn't exactly the best news to hear upon arrival."

"Yeah, sorry, about that." Still, she couldn't help but smile. "It's good to see you all, though."

"So what happened, what do we know?" Pelessaria plopped herself casually near Sara's legs.

"Outcasts, most likely. I think..." She hadn't had time to think about it, yet, really. "Must have thought the program would be an excellent way to get close to me."

"It worked," Jaal bluntly pointed out.

"Let's just hope it's the one crazy," Vetra rapt her long talons along her own arm. "And not a preamble to their return."

"The Charlatan has been playing it smart. He's squashed every whisper of remaining resistance," Cora contributed.

"Maybe not all," Sara thought. "Heleus it a big place."

"I don't know," Suvi leaned over on her elbows, sinking into the thin mattress. "Attacking you in broad daylight in front of so many others. Is that desperate, or a message?"

"Takes a lot of balls," Gil's pleasant accent still sounding playful amid their brainstorm. "Takes some confidence to back it up."

"Surely they must have known they wouldn't get away with it." Kallo looked to the others.

"Obviously success was deemed worth it." When Harry spoke, all eyes went to him. "If it was worth it to whoever-it-was, then it will be to others. Even if unorganized, you should be cautious once people learn you've lived."

"I'll talk to the other Pathfinders," Cora finally said. "They'll need to keep closer eyes on the prospects until we sort this out. Maybe they'll notice something we haven't."

"I'll reach out to our friend on Kadara, see if he's heard anything," Vetra supplemented.

Sara nodded. It was at least a start. "I want to go talk to them. The person who attacked me."

Harry was the first to pounce on that one. "No. You are far less than in-no-shape for that."

"I'm the one they wanted dead. There's just going to be things I can get from them others won't. There just is."

"Then they'll remain under guard until you're ready. But-"

"The longer this takes, the more planning time for them, or their allies, should we find any. You said so yourself, when they find out I'm alive, I'll be a target again."

"I'm with Dr. Carlisle on this one," Cora inclined her head. "You have a Pathfinder Team for a reason. We're in a position to help, and we're going to."

Sara's scowl grew deeper, and while the others remained silent, no one came to her defense either. In her vulnerable state, her control over the situation slipped away from her.

"Alright," she finally conceded. "Keep them sequestered until I can deal with it myself. No one else goes down there until I do. Let whoever sweat it out and wonder what we'll do. I'll talk to Scott when next I see him..."

She'd lost, but it was a decent group to do so with. And they all seemed to respect her doctor, as well.

"I know better than to expect you to stay out of this completely Ryder, but your medical condition leaves some things beyond negotiation. We'll need you to stay here until you're well enough to transfer to the Meridian medical lab, and they may want to keep you for longer."

"Rules don't apply to Pathfinders," Sara tried. A wry smile spread over Harry's lips at her words.

"Uh-huh."

A team tossed around a few jokes, and few more (less likely) ideas about the attack still batted around here and there, but before long, Harry declared that it too exciting for too long for a recovering surgery patient, and he herded them to the door.

Verta didn't move at first, and when she finally did, Ryder reached out for her. "Hey, can you stay and talk?"

The turian nodded, her mandibles barely twitching in the dim light of the patient room.

"I need to fetch you some pain meds, anyway," Harry turned, after chasing the rest out. He paused at the door, and in Vetra's blind spot, subtly indicated to Sara's stomach with his eyes. "You're not getting the good stuff."

"You're all heart, Doc," Vetra tossed to him, the underlying issue lost on her.

Harry and Sara exchanged soft smiles and he followed the troupe beyond, however, leaving Sara alone with a dear friend she'd missed the last few weeks.

"You really had us worried there, Ryder." Vetra's voice vibrated quietly between them after he'd gone. Sara caught the woman's hand.

Being partially raised on the Citadel, Sara knew it was easier for her than most to see friends and family in foreign forms. She unapologetically welcomed a sisterhood with Vetra and Sid, when she'd never had one before.

"You've seen me take worse."

"Yeah, exactly. _Saw_ it. I was _there_." Vetra threw her pointed face downcast, angry. "I should have been. I would have noticed, I know almost everyone-"

"You can't know everyone," Sara interrupted.

"I spend a lot of time going back and forth between here and Kadara, Ryder. I might have known, or recognized."

"You have got to stop taking responsibility for everyone. That's my job."

Vetra growled mildly behind her flat mouth. "If it were one of us, you'd've already turned half this station into a hurricane."

"Well then I guess we're all lucky it wasn't." Sara tried to joke, but Vetra's expression only lightened a half-shade.

"Ryder, you said it, we're _family_. That _matters_ to people. Even Peebee. You can't just expect everyone to take this stuff in stride all the time. We care about you."

Suddenly Sara felt she'd been unfair to keep her pregnancy from them for so long. But if they'd known, and then this had happened, it could have been so much worse.

That thought quickly overcame any inkling to decide now was the moment, so the human instead ran her thumb along one of Vetra's fingers.

"I should check in with my people, they'll be worried I haven't since I was supposed to have arrived."

"Alright." Sara released the woman's hand, and had to admit to herself she felt oddly exhausted. "Listen, if they make me stay in a small room for too long I'm gonna go crazy. Come break me out if I become a hostage?"

Vetra padded her way to the door with cat-like grace. "You got it."

Alone, Sara felt bitter tears prick behind her eyes. She wanted her mother. Or even her father. Vetra was right to call the Tempest crew her family, but she couldn't resist wanting to keep them from the stress and secrets she bore. Peebee was so much brighter unburdened, Vetra too. All of them. Sara needed to see them laughing, to feel their excitement and hope to refuel herself. To share the pain and worry would weaken the whole.

In the face of uncertainty and lonliness, she knew under the surface that she would handle everything the way she always had. It was the only thing to be done, anyway. But deep down, she felt tired and scared in a way totally different than she'd ever experienced before.

She hugged her stomach, leaned back and closed her eyes, thoughts still chasing her down well into the unsettled sleep she slipped into.

* * *

When she drowsily opened her eyes hours later, the room was dark. A soft glow from her monitors gave her enough light to read by, but shapes were hard to make out through the dim shadows. It was perhaps late, late night, a still quiet imposing from outside the walls. But a deft, subtle shift in dark revealed her company; and the one person she'd had yet to see.

"Scott?"

Her twin turned from where he'd been examining something along the wall.

"You're awake!" He was at her side in an instant. "Hells, are you trying to pay me back or something?"

He too, hugged her, though his embrace more careful and supportive of her body. When he pulled away, he looked years her elder, rough around the eyes, and mouth.

"You look like shit."

He snorted. "You too."

An altogether familiar snorkel of a snore from a distance brought a smile to her lips, even if she couldn't see the source through the darkness.

Her brother smirked in that direction, then back at her. "Yeah, he finally got sleep. Wouldn't go home, though."

"He's been like that since before we were together," she recalled affectionately. After the trip to Habitat 7 that killed her father, Liam had been the first to be with her when she woke, then, too. Enough time had passed for all the others to return to their duties, and Cora'd even had enough time to shower and change. But not him.

Still in his armor when she came to, he'd found the time to check on her brother, but not to take care of himself.

Ugh, he made her ache in the deepest way.

"I heard you went a little 'bad cop' while I was out."

Scott's gaze swiveled back to her slowly. "Is that what they said?"

"No," she shrugged, wincing at the tight pull in her lower back where she must have been stitched. _Thank the stars for pain inhibitors. That'll hurt tomorrow, though_. "But when I heard you were with the prisoner, I can't imagine it was for a game of rummy."

Scott sighed and carefully perched himself beside her, body half-twisted to face her inquiring stare.

"Someone needed to talk to him, and I didn't really have the patience to wait for it secondhand."

"So it was a man?"

Scott nodded. "Yeah, human, too. Not that it matters. At least we won't have to worry about combating the race narrative."

"Get anything useful, yet?"

"Guy seems pretty steady. He hasn't said much, to be honest. He's made it clear he associates himself with the Outcasts. He turned ten times nastier when he found out who I was. You really made us some enemies out there, sis."

"Yeah, sorry, about that. Though, in this case, I really don't think I could have gotten out of that, either way." A grim truth.

A contemplative quiet passed between them, Scott growing visibly relieved with each passing moment that she seemed okay.

As things calmed again, Sara found herself reminiscing with Scott about their childhood injuries, often (if inadvertently) incurred by the other. They'd always encouraged each other to do the next most risky thing. Until the risk became greater than injury; and even then, on a few drunken occasions...

She let his voice walk her through memory lane, and in her mind's eye, each event he described splayed before her like a vid screen, her own perspective playing with his details.

But just beyond, Sara was mildly aware that her family and friends were all under the impression that everything was, and would continue to be, okay now. Such relief and motivation propelling them forward to action, and yet, she couldn't move past it.

Not until she knew beyond all certainty she wasn't the only one to have survived it.

* * *

 **I cannot tell you enough how much reviews motivate me to write more, and more quickly. ;)**


	6. Heirloom

**No Lullabies for Ryders**

 **Ch. 6 - Heirloom**

The next morning, Sara caught a break. When her eyes flickered back open, she found herself, for the first time since her attack, completely alone.

Something she could not expect to last long.

She quickly scanned for a clock, and upon sight landing on one above the door, messily scrambled to her feet.

"SAM," she whispered as quietly as she could. "Is anyone outside?"

 _"You want me to assist your escape, Sara?"_

"Come on, SAM, I trust you to keep me alive. It's just for a little bit." Sara tightened a fist around the thin fabric that covered her scantily-clad form to shore up the openings.

 _"There is no one outside, Pathfinder, but you must move quickly."_

Sara tossed one last look to the room to see if anything useful were left behind, but it seemed her things were taken somewhere for safe keeping.

She padded down a corridor, appreciative of the predictable symmetry in the Hyperion's design. She found a supply closet, and tucked inside to pilfer the laundry bins for a fresh change of clothes. Once she'd located a thin plain T and pants, she carefully peeled away the medical gown and delicately climbed inside her new garb.

She hissed, as each bend or stretch in her back pushed the bounds of her pain judgment. The dull ache felt manageable, but each stab of over-exertion nearly doubled her over.

She knew she looked a mess even without a mirror. Her skin remained sticky, unbathed in over a day, and her hair had dried odd from the sweaty mop she'd bore since intake.

With a strained groan she stretched her arms up to straighten and smooth her ponytail, then rubbed her face deeply as if it could sober her pain-addled mind.

"Still clear?"

 _"One moment."_

Sara froze as a pair of short heels clipped down the hallway outside. They trailed off into the distance, and soon Sara's heartbeat in her ears was all she could hear.

 _"You may proceed."_

Sara ditched her dressing gown and ducked from her hiding place. Finding her way out of med bay wasn't too hard, as it shared a wing a couple walls with cryo. Still, she judged the time early by the lack of the foot traffic. She'd hoped not too early; she wouldn't go unnoticed for long.

 _"As you get closer to the core, Sara, I cannot predict a viable path without traffic."_

"It's okay," she said under her breath. "This is perfectly normal. I belong here. Totally nonchalant."

Just outside the Tram, her luck ran out.

"What the _hell_ are you doing, Ryder?"

Incredulous. That brought back memories. She closed her eyes in resignation and turned to the voice.

Liam was on her like wet on water before she could plot an escape path. His hands gripped her arms, eyes more angry than worried. "Of all the-"

"Yeah, I get it, 'stubborn is the family heirloom'," she made to brush past him, but he caught her with an arm around her stomach.

She'd never tried to escape his embrace before. She couldn't start now. Especially not with his child nestled behind her flesh a mere inches from the pulse in his wrist.

"Please, _what_ is so important?"

"I have to run down to the Dome, they'll be resuming lessons today-"

 _"Are you fucking kidding me?!"_ His voice rose in intensity, but not volume, a tight, pained, and frustrated sound. "After what just happened, you're bailing on medlab to run back down there? They not successful enough the first time?! What're you trying to prove!?"

The deep set scowl in his forehead stirred a unsettling sensation in Ryder. His anger remained a mysterious beast only warned of, but never witnessed. The glimpse she currently earned made her insides shrivel.

His grip on her stayed sharp, and the glint of light on his wedding band served as the only anchor for her comfort. She let him keep his hold on her, but guided them back out of the way of any potential passersby.

"It's not about me, Liam!" She bit under her breath. "I just got done telling them a few days ago that Pathfinders are expected to face these odds of survival- that this job is dangerous! I tried to scare the shit out of them so they'd take it seriously, and now that it's been shoved in their faces! They probably are- _and_ _should be-_ scared. That's why I _have_ to go. If I disappear now- even for a few days- it will undermine everything we said we'd prepare them for!"

He blinked, jaw still firmly set. Undecided, perhaps, if her excuse were acceptable. "I can't see a good enough reason to put my family at risk."

She sighed, growing irritated. "Fine. Then you'd better come with me."

He still didn't seem satisfied. Her peered at her, conflict behind his eyes, and she saw all the things they hadn't talked about since everything happened, bubble over now; a distressful problem.

"Liam, if it were that bad, SAM wouldn't have let me go. Harry said the baby is okay, and we can't know any more until our appointment- but right now, I can make a difference to a lot of people, and all I have to do is _show up_. Liam, _please_."

He slackened his grip, and she freed herself. He followed, but his shoulders remained tense, his lips a thin line. He stepped onto the mobile platform just behind her, but didn't reach for her again.

She'd never seen him angry. Her father would grow loud, sometimes even obnoxiously so. Now Sara would have preferred it. That, she knew how to deal with. But as the tram car sped away towards the deck that would let them out into Meridian fields, it was Liam's taut silence that intimidated her.

It hunted her footsteps, just behind her, all the way to the Dome.

"Five minutes, Ryder, I'm serious. I will haul your ass out of here."

He let his low words trail after her through the empty lobby. She ignored them with less success than she ignored the throbbing pain in her lower back, but she was determinedly set on her path now.

The newly assigned groups were separated, each under a different instructor for different training, and under rotation for the whole curriculum. They found each group of thirty in the Arena, Strategy Skill Training under Adraknor, and Group Offensive Dynamics under Riggs, respectively. Each one greeted her with hushed whispers, and soft gasps. Under Liam's stern gaze, Sara did not linger, but she held her head high, and made a point to speak loudly and firmly with class heads so all could hear the steadiness in her voice. (Steadiness masking slightly-trembling knees.)

On her way out of Rigg's class she drew close to the lavender Kelli. The asari muttered a quick 'it's so good to see you, Pathfinder' before her attention was called sharply back to the Chief with a disapproving cough.

Honestly, Sara had meant to stay longer, but her main purpose more or less delivered, Liam steered her relentlessly back toward the exit.

"Liam, the hell-?!" she finally called him out the fourth and final time he used a pinch of her elbow to direct her to the door.

"Not here." Still terse, he gave her very little space, and she found herself nonetheless marched back outside.

His attitude turned infectious in a toxic way. The less he spoke about why he was upset, the less she cared to hear it. He never had tried to hold this much control over her before. He'd never hovered in such a way. This time she didn't wait for his nudging guidance, as she walked herself to their apartment instead of the lab, her last fit of defiance.

Once they crossed the threshold of their front door and Kosta palmed it closed, however, tempers flared.

"What the hell is your problem?" she turned on him.

"Me?! Are you crazy?! Did you forget what happened to you yesterday?!" Liam stormed past her into the apartment, fury set in his face as he discarded his jacket over the back of their couch. "I mean, _damn_ it, Ryder-!"

"What has gotten into you?!" She gestured, exasperated. "I practically _went for a walk_. I don't even know how to apologize for getting injured. Especially when that's _literally_ been an occupational hazard since the day that we met, so what the hell-?!"

Liam kicked the edge of their couch, causing Sara to jolt a little, but she held her ground. Still, good thing he wasn't a biotic. "It's not just about you, anymore! You can't be that reckless, you aren't the only one who _depends_ on you anymore!"

She blinked, a memory of an argument he'd once had with Vetra flashing behind her eyes. "What, I'm less dependable because I want to be there for others too-?"

"No!" He did shout then, but even she could tell it was in frustration, not rage. Words weren't coming out right. "I mean, I, we, our family, we depend on you. I need you here, not just home, or safe, but _here,_ alive! I need-"

He stopped himself suddenly, realizing all at once where that train of thought lead the same time Sara did.

"Liam..." she took a timid step to shorten the distance between them, though it still felt too far. "I'm still who I always was. I'm alive, I'm yours. I don't understand, we've been through worse..."

She frowned, perplexed.

"Not like this. I always knew you were a badass, but... you just... just keep becoming more and more important to me, and the more scary it becomes that you have to be one. You're a wife, _my wife_ , now. And a mother. If I, or we, lost you, we'd never be the same." His voice sank, wounded by the admission. When he crossed the rest of the way to her, his fingers tentatively traced hers at her side, his eyes downcast.

Sara realized... he was afraid.

Her Liam who she could never recall ever being frightened of anything. His driven optimism carried him across the most treacherous traps without so much as breaking a sweat.

She didn't know why she was caught off guard by this part of him, and the notion that she hadn't foreseen this depth of conflict left her guilt-ridden.

She squeezed his hand, and leaned closer to peek her face under his until he would look into her eyes. "You're right. I'm sorry. I haven't been taking into consideration how you've been feeling about all this, and that's unfair."

His eyes rounded as he groped for words. "I _am_ happy, love, I just..."

"I know, it's a lot. And you've been so good about trying to make it manageable for me, there hasn't been a lot of time for you to address your own concerns." She caught his cheek and looked up into his beautifully warm eyes, as woefully overwhelmed as they currently shone. "You're amazing, you know that? But for us to do this together, you have to let me help you, too."

He moved to kiss her palm, then encased it in one of his hands to gently tug her arms around him. He enveloped her against him, and rest his slightly-scruffy chin atop her head, holding her tight with a sigh.

"It's not the next part that scares me most. It's about what happens after. Once the baby is here. The kind of expectations you might face..."

She frowned against his chest, and tried to comfort herself in the sound of his heart beating behind his sweater. "Like... caring for the baby?"

He stroked a hand down her spine, and she felt his fingertips linger near her waist as he felt the edge of her bandage under her shirt. "No. Raising a child. Children. We knew we'd need a bigger place, we knew we'd need to finally decide on a home planet, and that life would change. But we also thought it would happen at a time when things had calmed enough for you to step away from the front lines. I'm afraid they'll argue they can't spare you. I'm afraid we'll be visiting our infant every few weeks, and praying every other day we're out there that we'll get to see them again..."

She unknowingly gripped him tighter as his words squeezed at her chest. Not that she hadn't considered the possibility, but hearing the _words_ , laced with such sorrow... She couldn't do that to her child like her father did her. And she couldn't do it to Liam, knowing how it would hurt him so.

But... what was the alternative? That was it? Pathfinding days over? Settling down in her mid-twenties, when there was still so much good she could do?

SAM's voice filtered through the room's speakers, so they could both hear. _"Hyperion medical is searching for the Pathfinder. Shall I inform them of your status?"_

Ryder grumbled, but, somewhat relieved of his burden, Liam relented in his response. "Let them know she's alright. She'll be checking in daily for outpatient care."

 _"I'm sure Dr. Carlisle will understand."_

"Uh, SAM?" Sara called, interjecting. "If you talk to him privately, have him make that appointment?"

 _"Sending a private message to email now, Ryder."_

"... Or that."

"Come on," Liam kissed her temple. He carefully pressed a hand to the small of her back, and guided her onto the bed, cautious of her wound. "I know what you need."

* * *

Harry got to back to them twice within the hour, once to scorn Ryder's premature departure, and a second to forward a list of orders they were to stick to for recovery.

Sara and Liam lay tangled on the bed for some desperately needed recharge time in each other's arms. They remained fully clothed, and spent a fair amount of time cuddling one another and whispering comforts before the second message came in forty minutes behind the first.

Liam eyed the report, a gentle snicker revealing his amusement. "You're gonna need a full-time babysitter. There's no way you're sticking to this."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "You'll be surprised what I can handle."

"No," he corrected, "that's about endurance. And you're not going to get away with _enduring_ without these." He playfully shook the guidelines at her from his omniscreen. "I'll have to clear my schedule."

It sounded like he were teasing, but she was unsurprised to find in the following days that he did, in fact, seem to have plenty of time to look after her.

For now, he folded the projected message and Omnitool back into his wristband and returned to gather her up in his arms once more.

"I want to keep working with the prospects," she confessed, once she'd settled back into place against his warmth.

Quiet greeted her for a moment. Then, "Are you sure?"

"I don't think the Program is the source of the violence. It's still an important project, and I want to be a part of it. Besides, the real danger lies with what's left of the Outcasts, and I have to rely on other people to do the groundwork on that."

Her tone made it clear she was not pleased about that fact.

"Maybe it was just the one. The Collective has been methodical, strategic, through this whole thing." Liam's fingers continued to massage down her skin soothingly, carefully dancing around the edges of her injury as she breathed deep and nuzzled his chest.

Again, that low, persistent sense of dread made itself known at the base of her skull and stomach. "I don't know, I don't think so."

"What makes you say that?"

Another thing she hadn't told him. Not a secret, he just hadn't been with her at the time. She'd needed to face it on her own.

"After..." She sighed, and raised her face to speak. "After what happened with Sloane and Reyes, I went to the jail in Kadara Port. I thought... I don't what I thought. Maybe I thought if I could tell if things had changed, or if some had been spared, that I could justify that I'd chosen the right side...

"Kaetus was there. I spoke with him."

Liam idly traced the curve of her ear, eyes searching her expression as he listened. "What'd you talk about?"

"Once I saw him there, I couldn't..." She couldn't walk away. She hadn't had it in her. "I hadn't expected to see him, I just blurted the first thing that came to the surface."

Liam's lips melted at the corners in a grim expression. "Which was?"

"'I'm sorry'." She blinking away the growing sensation of tears rising. Her hormones were driving her crazy. Suddenly all she could think about was what the turian must have gone through. "Bad or good, they loved one another. They tried to protect one another. They thought they were doing the right thing, in their own way. He was beaten within an inch of his life, and when he could no longer guard her, the Charlatan struck. The woman he loved was killed and he was nowhere near her or in any way able to stop it. Can you imagine?"

Liam closed his eyes and inhaled slow and deep instead of answering, so Sara pressed. "Liam, he said he'd remember who was responsible, who enabled it. If he's still out there, he's still furious."

"Maybe the Charlatan put him down."

"If he were going to he would have just done that instead of jailing him. But a broken turian would have been more demoralizing to any resistance."

"Unless it didn't work."

The implications bounced back and forth, and Sara trailed her hands along Liam's sides as her mind churned. "This probably isn't over."

Another long sigh. This time, Liam turned his body and tucked her into his form more thoroughly, her head soon cocooned in arms and under jawbone. "Ain't that always just the way?"

* * *

Time like that with Liam had become Sara's favorite pastime in Heleus. He brought her unprecedented peace and security, and through words or actions, Liam always left her feeling empowered to face pretty much anything.

It was that sort of encouragement she needed the next day, under the tentative care of an OBGYN recommended by Harry himself.

Sara felt more like a mere mammal, holstered up on the exam table under prodding fingers, than a human, let alone one of any dignity. She focused on the subtle freckles on Liam's skin as he hovered close, fingers clasped with hers. She resisted the urge to squirm or whimper at the intense pinches and pokes of being examined in such a way.

Their doctor, a rather clipped and impeccably dressed woman, carried herself with consistent timber and speed. Her voice, calm and alto, willed the couple to listen as she described the next few steps to them. It became a hazy and embarrassing blur for awhile that left Sara's cheeks hot and her mind blindly wishing for time to glitch and reset them an hour in the future.

Then, some twenty minutes later, after a mess of questions and readjusting, lubrication, and shift of fabric, one of the most precious sounds to ever grace her ears began to thump rhythmically through the monitor.

Her eyes shot to Liam, only to be met so immediately with his own, wide as the growing grin on his face.

"That's the baby right? They're okay?"

"Looks like!" The doctor peered into a screen of shifting shadows and light, a century's technology smoothing fuzzy edges to a near-fine point. "Just wait one moment, this might be uncomfortable."

Sara hated when doctors said 'uncomfortable'. More often than not it seemed a misleading term for 'going to hurt more than we want to tell you'.

Nonetheless, this time, when the doctor pressed her fingers relatively deep into the tissue at the side of Sara's abdomen, an angry little squirm made her stomach nearly heave.

"Excellent! Responsive little peanut!"

Sara, for awhile, couldn't stop watching the mildly morphing shape outlined on the screen behind the doctor. Not enough face detail yet, but.. it was their baby. She knew it. And they were alive.

She didn't realize her cheeks were wet until she found Liam's warm lips kissing away her tears. "It's okay. We're all okay."

"Thank the powers that be..." She whispered wetly.

The doctor offered them a solemn, understanding smile at their emotion. "I'll give you two a few moments. Then I'll return with some paperwork for you."

"Thanks, Doc."

Unsurprising, this professional, like many others, glared at the slang name. But Liam proved too deliriously happy to notice. A wonderful development from their yesterday.

Once alone, Liam's lips found their way to her hairline, and she turned to curl her body to him at the odd angle, relief and excitement both driving her deeper into his arms.

"Harry said that's it. We're in the clear. It's been long enough now. He, or she, pulled through. They're not going anywhere."

Liam 'hmmed' as they both processed her words. "That family heirloom you mentioned seems to have already passed down."

She smiled into the flesh of his arm as he held her.

"I think," Liam finally concluded, his fingertips brushing hair back from her face, "it might just be time to invite your brother over for a supper. What do you think?"

She tilted her face to look up at him, already nodding away fresh tears, uncontrollable grin firmly plastered in place. _Stupid hormones._

* * *

 **Hey all! It occurred to me Liam and Sara hadn't had much time to take stock of the situation since the beginning; and he's been so occupied staving her fears we didn't get to address his own development and human reaction/evolution. They deserved some time to regroup together here, I think!**

 **Follow (and/or review ;) ) to keep this author's butt motivated! And tune in next chapter, when an exchange of information on several fronts begins to brew a chaotic storm.**


	7. Machinations

**Hey all- brief message, this has been the longest lull between chapters, I know (but still, only a couple weeks, not bad :P). I was privileged to show in a local Art Walk this last week and leading up to the event took a lot of my time. But now we're back to our regular-scheduled programming (meaning 1-3 times a week, depending on how much time I get)! So shall we?**

* * *

 **No Lullabies for Ryders**

 **Ch. 7 - Machinations**

Despite the fact that her team and family more or less kept things well under control, Sara struggled in the night to find rest. She couldn't escape the feeling that she was missing something, and with so many moving parts, even finding which part of her life in which something had gone amiss had become a challenge.

She considered the possibility she were paranoid, but her gut proved insistent enough to keep her awake, so she reasoned there must be something to the gnawing notion.

In the last hour, the Pathfinder's Omnitool lit the head of the bed, dimming under her instruction so as not to wake the snoring man at her side. She smiled fondly to his curled, sleeping form from where she sat, propped against the wall. His hair was a mess, and she resisted the urge to play with it, instead returning her eyes to the amber glow of her tool.

In her email, she scoured the lists and messages she'd passed between her team. Liam had begun a running task list for the baby, and the others had begun filtering anything they discovered in their investigation into their group messaging service.

In this way they were able to confirm within a day that the man who'd attacked Sara had at least traveled to Meridian alone. Cora acquired a list of all the possible players and supplied what background information she could on each; then, a few messages down, the same file reposted by Vetra, with marks to indicate those with known relationships to others in the group, or outside influences.

Soon the list of names and interested parties went over a hundred, and it became a barely-manageable maelstrom of information. Still, she'd read everything five times over, now. And still the feeling persisted.

With a sigh of growing disappointment, Sara flipped back to her personal inbox, shifting through messages in her private channel. She even delved into her outbox, just in case.

It was then her eyes landed on a short memo she had sent to Dr. T'Perro.

"SAM." She said his name in a soft whisper, not wanting to wake her companion. "Have we heard from Lexi? After the attack, I asked for her, but she never showed. Did she at least send a message?"

" _Checking_." SAM responded immediately. " _Station records indicate Doctor T'Perro left for transit to the Nexus a few days ago. Her personal notes indicate she plans on returning shortly_."

"Anything as to what she's doing?"

" _Nothing I see here, Ryder. But perhaps she means to facilitate the exchange of medical equipment and files between the two. Her expertise in xenobiology has rendered her invaluable to many of our medical science teams_."

"Hmm." Sara's brow crinkled, her lips twisted in thought.

After a few moments, she brought up a new message, fingers flying over the holo-keys.

xxxxxx

 _Lexi_

 _I hope your work is going well for you. We're missing you over here. Please message when you get this; I have some news._

 _Ryder_

 _xxxxxx_

Short, vague; hopefully enough to earn a response without worrying the good doctor too much. Once it sped away, Sara sighed collapsed the display and tilted her head back on the wall, exhaling.

The pain in her lower back remained, though much more manageable now. She could convince herself not to think about it while she had something to work on. She silently willed the wound to the close and the flesh to mend well enough for Liam to relinquish his vice-like hold on her responsibilities. The window in which she could help narrowed further each day, and she couldn't afford a lot of time for healing before she'd have another reason she couldn't do the important/heavy stuff.

"Hey, SAM," she tried again, after ten or so minutes of staring at the ceiling with no promise of drowsiness to greet her. "The prisoner, from Kadara. Are they housed in an Initiative facility?"

" _Negative, Ryder. They were transferred to a cell on the station_."

"Nng," she grunted, disappointed. "I don't suppose you have access?"

" _Not to the room, like on the Nexus or Hyperion. But I do retain access to the security feed_."

"The security cameras? Really?"

 _"It's still Initiative tech. If security were alerted to this oversight, they would likely erect firewalls."_

Sara smirked, face bouncing to attention as she drew her Omni-screen up again. "You sneaky bastard, Sam," she teased, "work your magic, I want to see them."

It took a few seconds for a the AI to establish a connection between the feed and her Omni-tool, but soon a small room flickered into replica on her screen, confining and cold.

Sharp, hunched shoulders of a man facing away from the lens came to view. The angles in his body seemed severe, though she couldn't tell without seeing more if it may be due to malnutrition, or perhaps drug use.

Even at this late hour, he remained awake too, a hand roughly disheveling his own, wiry hair.

From this angle, she couldn't recognize him, though she doubted she would anyway. Still, she found herself entranced for some time at his nocturnal nature, even contained to a barred room. Some got restless behind bars, others tried to sleep as much of it away as possible. He did neither. Awake, yet calm.

She wondered if he'd heard he'd failed yet. If he were plotting his next move, his escape, or even his next attempt.

Her eyes narrowed as the man flexed casually to stretch his limbs, then stood. He paced his small floor, and upon turning at the other end, she caught his hallow and bitter expression.

Familiar and strange all at once, he proved no one she knew, but a someone she had seen many times in her life. An invisible soul. Contritely calm about it. A person totally accepting of their fate.

He stalked back and forth a few times at a leisurely pace before he sat back down again, the tension still stiff in his narrow frame.

Fingers curling under her calf beneath the sheets startled her stare, and she jolted back into her surroundings. Liam's groggy face welcomed her, his body having turned and crawled tighter against her in her distraction.

Now, sleepy concern settled over his brow, eyes still adjusting to the soft dim light of her tool. "Hey, you okay?"

"Mmhmm, sorry. Just needed some time to wind down." She offered a half-smile and tucked it away for the second time that night, taking the amber glow with it and leaving them in cool darkness.

Sara slunk her way back under the blankets, Liam instinctively gathering her up in his arms as his nose found a resting place in her hair and neck. She slipped her arms around him in return and traced his spine and back soothingly.

"Mm, at this hour you belong to me," he mumbled against her skin, his eyes sliding closed again. She felt his warm lips clumsily press against her shoulder, collarbone, then neck in his drowsiness.

Still, his words brought a sweet smile to her lips. "Don't I always?"

He kept a lazy flow of kisses along her skin until he fell asleep again, face pressed somewhere to her shoulder by the time he began to snore once more. His bare flesh was near unbearably hot, but she couldn't bring herself to direct him elsewhere. Instead, she busied herself with the massaging trails her palms left over his back and arms, taking him in like her own personal worry-stone, to touch and caress until her mind finally dulled enough to submit to rest.

* * *

The next day, Sara was forced to commit to Liam's promise she'd attend out-patient care. Thankfully, Harry was willing to see to it himself, so he could coordinate with their OBGYN, Dr. Dawson, without including anyone else in the chain. He was quick enough, prodding her for sensitivity before he redressed the wound. Dawson had supplied him with a list of vitamins to prescribe, and Sara walked home a quick half-hour later with a full, rattling bag of med canisters under her arm.

Liam had insisted on tracking down some kind of trinket for Scott, which left the wife of the two behind to find a way to occupy herself after she'd finished her daily check-in at the dome.

Once back at the apartment, it was barely 10:00. Restless, she resigned herself to reorganize while she still could, finally shoving their couch to the side, and instead hauled over one of their storage crates to the center of the room in its place.

Dual-purposed, she set about getting what she needed out of it, then quickly threw a clean linen over top to improvise a desk.

Pen and paper felt a little outdated, but it reminded her of her childhood at home, before she were old enough for her parents to trust her with more expensive tools.

There remained something soothing about handwriting. About seeing the curves and lines of her own letters and knowing its loops were evidence of her unique existence. So simple a thing...

Like her mother before her, Sara was an organizer. Soon three separate lists littered her makeshift work-surface; one for the baby, one for the prospects, and one for the investigation. A couple pens and mug of decaf completed the mess, her omnitool also open to many a tab and report by the time a fresh knock at the door drew her from her deep focus some hours later.

She was about to call out before she thought better of it, paranoia having rooted over the last week. "SAM?"

 _"Friend, Sara."_

"Come on in!" She rest a hand on her hip, her other arm still extended as she read the last few lines of her latest research quickly before the sound of boots reached her. When she finally tore her eyes to her guest however, her lips parted in genuine shocked surprise.

"Reyes?!" She gasped, but he easily sauntered, as he always did, over to her, a smug purr hiding just behind his lips.

"Ah, Ryder. Seeing you is always a delight." He waggled a brow at her, his usually flirting personality obviously still secure.

Sara shook her head dismissively, but she still smiled. She and Liam had already been well involved by the time she and Reyes met; and with the knowledge of her being so contently committed to someone else, Reyes seemed to relish in teasing and playing with her, even more brazen by his confidence she'd never take the bait.

Still, the ease about him was welcome. She still wasn't 100% sure she could trust him 100% of the time... but while they were just hanging out and buddies? Yeah, he was damned fun to be around.

"There's beer in the fridge, you'd better help Liam with it." She inclined her head to the coolbox behind him, and he helped himself. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be sitting on a shadow throne somewhere?"

Reyes matched her smirk before the horse-neck bottle tilted against his lips and he gulped a swig of cold brew. "I have associates for that. The throne wrinkles my gear."

He tossed her another wink before the bottle-butt landed with a dull thud on the counter. "I can trust others to that. Not this."

His tone shifted, and though he seemed obviously comfortable enough to come to her himself, it also meant he found it important that he talk to her in person, instead of through their usual weekly correspondence.

His gold eyes glinted with cunning, a strategist in every sense, as he paced the perimeter of the small studio. "Out of respect for our alliance, and our friendship, some intel must be delivered in person. Apparently."

He seemed a little miffed when he rounded on her, but not at her. "We've got a leak somewhere."

"I thought you were pretty good at sussing that sort of thing out," she half-teased. Though the uncharacteristic seriousness in his tone swelled, sobering.

"I wouldn't come myself if I didn't fear any message I sent could be intercepted." His words clipped at a faster rate in his anxiety, accent growing thicker. "A few weeks ago, we detected a piggy-backing bug on a few of our lines. To the Tempest, to the Nexus, and to here. Oddly enough, the one on the Nexus hadn't pinged in awhile. Even the Tempest line hasn't been tagged in weeks. So they're target is... well, you can imagine."

Sara nodded, and swallowed. This was it. This was the _more_.

"Outcasts?"

"I think so." Reyes sounded disappointed in himself at first, but when he spoke again, the words were edged with danger. "They're targeting you through me, I'm sure of it."

"How specific is this information?" She winced, defensively crossing her arms as if it could protect her.

The man looked a little guilty, as he dexterously slipped a couple gloved fingers into his pocket for a folded scrap of paper. He extended it to her, frowning. "When we set up a net, we caught what they were trying to pull last, before they did, and burned the line they used. But they'll make another."

She took the neatly folded note from him, and recognized his own scrawl. Clearly he hadn't even trusted his people to transcribe it, and she assumed the digital copy was already destroyed.

 _Target not terminated. Mission unsuccessful. Discovered Target with child. Await confirmation to proceed._

Sara blinked away horrified tears, her fingers shaking. "You said you stopped them from getting this?"

"This time," he nodded. "They will try again when they do not get a response. It's only a matter of time."

Sara suddenly felt the need to sit down. Her knees began to sink, and Reyes agilely moved to help her find her way to the couch's edge a few steps behind her.

"It's true, then?" He asked, when she buried her face in her hands.

"It doesn't make sense, hardly anyone knows. Not even my team." She felt... prematurely defeated. If she couldn't even keep it from coming out before she'd even told her closest friends, what chance did she have?

Beside her, the Kadaran shifted on his feet, uncertain of what to do. "I, uh... I'm sorry, Ryder."

Sara allowed herself only ten seconds. Ten seconds to adjust and accept that the news was either out there or would be soon. She needed to plan her next move. She needed to stop them.

She felt the note tugged from her fingers, and Reyes wandered to the sink. He produced a small lighter from his pocket, and caught the edges, watching the paper corners curl and darken under the flame before he dropped it into the basin and turned the faucet on until all was ash and rinsed away.

"Kaetus. You let him live, didn't you? You never killed him."

The smuggler's eyes grew dark and moody, even from the other side of the apartment, and he subconscious turned a shoulder to her, looking away. "I thought I did. Or... that if I hadn't, he'd be too broken for it to matter. A sloppy mistake."

"That's unlike you." She's aware it sounded like she were scolding him, but he took it well.

"I know, Ryder. At the time, it felt like victory had been so complete. I left him to die and assumed he would." The man scowled to himself. "Careless error."

Sarah breathed deep, pressing her hands firmly to her knees with straight arms to steel herself. "Any chance it's not him?"

"It's probably isn't, at least not directly," he came to rejoin her. "I doubt he's capable of taking the fight to you himself, anymore. But on the other hand, perhaps he's the only one who could still command enough respect, and enough people, to even pose a real threat to us. A plan like this would take at least a few agents, probably many. He could just be calling the shots. The Outcasts still consider you an enemy just on premise."

"I thought you took care of most of them."

"I did. Kadara is free, or at least, no one dares fly Outcast colors anywhere even surrounding the port. But they were successful smugglers as well, and claimed many places in the cluster in which to retreat. It's a big place to search."

Ryder exhaled sharply out her nose, composing.

"My people have tagged the other bugs. They could be burned like this one, but..."

"We'd lose an opportunity." She met his eyes, as if their counter-move came to play between their pupils at the same time. "You're right, if we torch them all they'll just leech on elsewhere and we may not be able to find them as smoothly. Maybe they just think you found the one..."

"And we could use it to our advantage." Reyes finally came to sit next to her, elbows on his knees as he leaned forward to steeple his fingers as he schemed.

Sara ran a frustrated hand over the top of her head and down her ponytail again, eyes darting between tiles on the floor. "We could use it if only we knew where the leak was."

"Who all knows about..?" his awkwardness at avoiding the word 'baby' didn't make Sara snicker as she might've, but it at least brought some levity to the situation, however brief.

"Myself, Liam, our doctor, and the surgeons who worked on me after the attack."

"That's a narrow pool."

"None of it makes sense. They've all been a part of the Initiative since the beginning- not the Outcasts, not even from Kadara. And if they wanted to kill me they could have done so in surgery and easily made it look like an accident."

They're eyes met again in disgruntled gloom, leads quickly running out.

"Okay," she finally sighed. "Someone else then. Someone who just... noticed? Overheard? That could be anyone."

"Then if we want to counter it, we need to fool _everyone._ "

Sara peered at him questioningly, awaiting explanation, but the door slid open again, bringing their conversation to a sudden halt.

Reyes jumped first, but closer to her, not further; defensively extending an arm across where she sat, his gun already in hand. Until a moment passed for him to recognize her husband. He immediately relaxed and slung himself up to his feet to meet Liam, who cheerfully dropped his bag of spoils on the counter nearby and crossed the room with a completely unconcerned welcome.

"Ho! Here stands the Pirate King, blown little far from his port," the darker man teased, offering an arm for a firm handshake.

"I'm glad I caught you, my friend. I'm afraid I can't stay long, I must return soon." Still, the man bowed his head shortly in respect, even after the handshake had fallen apart to their sides. "I wanted to thank you for giving my people time and breathing room to get to Voeld. I'll make sure they fulfill their purpose."

"Of course, we needed the men." Liam smiled, then his eyes sought beyond the smuggler's shoulder to his wife, who apparently looked as distressed as she felt, when the corners of his mouth sank. "Is... everything okay?"

Reyes took a step back to the open the conversation to the three of them, graciously giving the couple room to greet one another. Liam came to kiss Sara's cheek, then went about taking off his jacket as she elaborated.

"I'm afraid not," Sara's fingers clasped together without her permission, anxious. "We've been exposed."

Liam's lips parted, and he hastened his pace until he could take Vidal's abandoned spot on the couch. His large hand delved to where her two small ones fidgeted, clasping them together.

"Don't worry, my friend," Reyes offered, voice lilting as the gears in his head turned. "We're working on a plan.

"But we're going to need the aid of your companions."

* * *

 **I hope you're enjoying! Or not? Let me know!**


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